Giving The Reaper the finger

They seem to have an unnatural preoccupation with death.

By "they" I mean those cunts who seem to make a living out of deciding what I should eat and drink, how I should quit smoking and how I should take more exercise in order that I might not die of anything.

They are obsessed with the idea that they can decide how long I should live, and that they can force me to live those extra years whether I like it or not.

They are crowing in the papers now how life expectancy has increased since the 1950s.  This, quite naturally is down to their efforts and their efforts alone.  They reckon that through their efforts I am going to die at 81 instead of 66.  I now have to ponder whether I have to give up my pints, my pipe and my Mars Bars if I want to gain those extra years?  If so then I had better cancel my plans for next year.

They seem to have a strange perception of life.  They seem to think that we are born, we life a life according to their rules and then we die at our allocated time which apparently they have generously increased for us.  The seem to have overlooked the fact that babies die; children die; teenagers die; people in their twenties and thirties die and in general the population seems determined to fuck up their nice neat charts and graphs.  Live [and death] just isn't that simple.

They one thing they never tell us is what they want us to die from.  We are not allowed die of cancer, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, or any of the other lovelies that Nature has in its cupboard, so what the fuck are we supposed to die from?  I think that is a perfectly reasonable question, but I have yet to hear an answer. 

They also overlook the small point that before we die, we live.  I am not particularly concerned by my death but I am concerned how I live.  If living a full life means driving fast cars, then fine.  If living a ful life means tower jumping then that's a good way to go too.  Life is there to be lived to the full.  Life is not a preparation for death as they seem to think.

I want my obituary to say "He lived".

They want my obituary to read "He died of boredom".

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Giving The Reaper the finger — 16 Comments

  1. Life expectancy in Ireland matches that of Austria, the Austrians smoke more than the Irish, therefore higher levels of smoking do not affect life expectancy as much as other factors such as massive social inequality and poor health services (both of which are directly caused by those government departments opposed to smoking)

    • Do you ever get the impression that by concentrating on tobacco, alcohol and obesity they are deliberately shifting the spotlight off their failures in the areas of social inequality and health?  It's a case of "forget about the poor and the hundreds waiting on trollies – just look at what we are doing by introducing plain packs"?

      • Of course, focusing blame for problems in society on drinkers and smokers, the majority of whom are probably working people without access to public relations staff, diverts attention from the ineptitude of those in high office.

  2. I wish them all a long decrepit life ending neglected in some rubbish nursing home. I only want to live as long as I can look after myself. Incidentally my aunt, who has smoked since she was 10, celebrates her 90th birthday this week. Her sister, my mum, never smoker, drinker and taught swimming took strokes in her late 60s after died at 72 after three years in a nursing home. It was ok but I wouldn't wish it on anyone just sitting waiting to die. I know which way I want to go! 

    • My intention is to completely wear out every part of me so that I eventually go in a blaze of glory with a complete, sudden and catastrophic failure of everything.  No point in scrapping a car with a set of perfectly good tyres on it?

      Incidentally, you do realise that if you die at 90 or over and you have smoked a few fags in your lifetime, you're officially classed as a smoking related death?

      • Or a premature death due to smoking, what is a premature death? Is there a set age when it is not, maybe 100? All deaths now are smoking related and if you didn't smoke it must have been due to second hand smoke. No escape.

    • and did you ever notice the strange phenomenon that people die in alphabetical order?  Just check the death columns if you don't believe me.

  3. The trouble with the puritans is they have never lived. I once went to a Motorcycle Action Group meeting in which there was if I remember correctly, a UK ministry of transport dweeb. He was involved in policy planning for traffic flows in large cities. He just could not understand that some people actually enjoyed riding a motorcycle to work, to him it was the worst scenario. I remember him asking how I traveled if it was raining, his expression of bafflement was a peach when I told him I enjoy riding in the wet. These do gooders get their ' thrill ' from the sanctimonious feeling that they are somehow doing good deeds for helpless addicts who cannot make choices for themselves. None of them realize that the people they seek to save have intelligence and character unimaginable to their mediocrity.

    • I just wonder what they are like at home.  Do they ever laugh?  Do they have kids? [God help the little sods if they do].  Do they spend their time peering at the neighbours from behind the curtains?  Can you just imagine the fun and games at their parties?!!

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