I went to third level college once a loooong time ago.
I was nominally there to study electronics but there were so many other things on the syllabus that electronics became a side line. There was women, drinking, card games, women, lots of drinking, smoking [of various varieties], parties, music and women. Oh, and did I mention drinking? It was my first time out of short trousers [as it were] and my entry into the world as a fully fledged adult. By fuck did I make the most of it! It was a time to let go of all the schoolboy restraints and to taste life to the full.
They were the great years. Forget that shit about schooldays being the happiest – my schooldays were fucking torture and I still have nightmares about them – my college days rank up at the top of happy memories, though to be honest, when you're pissed out of your skull for the best part of four years there are bound to be some memory blanks.
What the fuck?
What the hell were the other third doing? There is a serious drop in standards since my day.
In my day "hazardous drinking" was drinking from the broken neck of a whiskey bottle because someone had been too drunk or too lazy to unscrew the cap. Now of course "hazardous drinking" means sipping half a glass of lager shandy.
At the higher end of the scale, the study, which involved 2,275 undergraduates at UCC, found approximately 17 per cent of men and 5 per cent of women were consuming more than six units of alcohol at least four times a week and, in some cases, on a daily basis.
Some of 17 per cent were drinking six pints a day? That is really fucking pathetic and I am ashamed of the students involved. Six pints is a warmer. Six pints is a breakfast. Six pints is what they should be having to give themselves a thirst for the night ahead.
Some tribes send their adolescents into the jungle for a few weeks armed only with a spear. The strongest survive and that benefits the whole tribe – stronger genes and all that shit. In our society, third level is our equivalent. If you can't survive it, you are not fit to live. Harsh, but it's for the greater good.
This finding is yet another signpost that our relationship with alcohol as a nation is unwholesome and detrimental to health. It impacts on us all and these findings should not be seen as merely a young person, student or UCC issue.
Unwholesome? Fucking unwholesome? That is the whole point of being a student – to be unwholesome.
Why can't these interfering, narrow minded, tight arsed, sanctimonious, priggish cunts just fuck off and join an Amish community?