I am really sick and tired of children.
No I don't mean my grandkids – they're OK and don't bother me at all.
The children I hate are the ones that fall into two categories.
The first category is the fucking child we are always supposed to be thinking about. You know the one I mean? The little fuck who is going to be so damaged by whatever it is the Nannies are on about. We mustn't drink in front of the cheeeldren. We are to be banned from smoking in our own cars because of the cheeeldren. We can't do a fucking thing because it might harm the cheeeldren. Even sticking a white pencil in your mouth is going to entice some child somewhere into a life of hard drugs. The Nannies have played that card so often that my hatred for Nannies is almost surpassed by my hatred for these mythical little shits. Those over protected mollycoddled snotty little brats are just going to grow up into obnoxious adults who everybody hates and it serves them right.
The other category is the fucking children who are after my money. Night after night advertisements appear begging me to phone some number or other to pledge €3 [why is it nearly always €3? Why not €5?]. They try to tug at my heartstrings with appeals for blind kids, starving kids, battered kids, deaf kids and just about every other malady you can think of. They come up with greasy lines like "your donation can save a child's life" as if the brat is going to drop dead if I don't donate. If they can afford to advertise on television then they don't need my money. I couldn't afford to buy even a single advertising slot but these charities seem to have endless funds.
One of those is for African [always African] kids who don’t have drinking water. Just €2 will provide clean drinking water apparently [I presume the other €1 goes towards the Chairman’s fat salary?]. What I want to know is why our gubmint doesn't hire these charities so we can get our water for €2 instead of the hundreds we are about to be charged?
They have overplayed their hand. They have bled the nurturing instinct dry [not that I had much to start with]. Now when I see a fucking child looking mournfully out of the television at me I just shout at him or her to fuck off.
If you think it unnatural to hate children, then blame the Nannies and the charities.
It's all their fault.