When freedom is a prison
I have been blessed once more.
I am sure you will all be as thrilled as I was to hear that I have received another mail from my Spiritual Mentor and Great Moral Guide – Supershadow.
For once I am not being chastised and metaphorically belted over the head with a baseball bat. In fact, he has honoured me with nothing less than a peek into the future of the human race.
I am truly blessed.
–oOo–
hello Granddad
well having arrived back home I have been reading (and reflecting) on your recent posts.
I mentioned the notion of ‘punishless’ laws in a previous post but I will discuss this later as it is relevant to what I am going to discuss now. I think you would lose your bias towards star wars fans and all things star wars if you understood it/us more. So I think its incumbent on me to make an attempt.
The Jedi
The jedi knight takes 9 years of training as is given a mentor who will be his master for the duration of his life (or whoever dies first)
The jedi takes an oath of celibacy – there are exceptions where certain jedi with an exceptionally high Midi-Clorian count are obliged to pro create (I fall in to this category)
Lucas has admitted that the FORCE was represent wrongly in the Star Wars movies..
In the movies the force in either Good or Evil and a balance must be maintained between the latter and the former. However according to the Journal of the Whill (The jedi bible) there is not good and evil. Here is a passage from page 9:
Thus it is granddad, should you drive 35 miles per hour in a 30 mile an hour zone(inappropriate), then it is required somewhere else that an appropriate action happens i.e. a gentleman helping an old lady across the road.
A world government run by the jedi would divide the planet into 2 halfs
Everyone in the west would by law be required to behave ‘appropriately’ and in asia etc laws will be loose (People will be allowed to behave inappropriately). thus right and wrong would be balanced.
So you may ask how could the jedi force everyone in the west to be compliant and behave appropriately??
This is where ‘punishless’ laws come in.
Every human who reaches the age of reason will be provided wit a mandatory ‘Pre Crime drone’
This Drone would follow the individual around and monitor and guide behaviour for the entire life of that person..
For example granddad lets assume you have a pre crime drone and you are going to the shop.
The pre crime drone would follow you in your car. Should you drive too fast the pre crime drone will issue verbal warnings of the dangers of speed and may inform the authorities after so many warnings.
Another example is smoking. should you light up the drone will issue a verbal warning of the dangers of smoking and may request a health and safety champion to call to your house to discuss the dangers of smoking and how you could kick the habit and may supply the appropriate literature.
Like I said before granddad we have to force the people to be free. safety is freedom but sometimes the people have trouble seeing it and we have to see it for them.
Not being able to commit a crime will free up the prison.
better to be safe than to be brave.. this is your problem granddad, standing like a rock in the surge of the sea will get you nowhere. resistance isn’t futile but it is inappropriate.
I hope you an the likes of all the other influential bloggers we have mailed will lead the charge towards harmonious equilibrium.
Supershadow
Wow!
A long one, but there again, a document laying out the future of humanity is hardly going to fit on the back of a fag packet?
I am beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel here.
So there is no good and evil? Only “appropriate” and “inappropriate”? So who decides what is appropriate then?
I must say this concept clears my conscience considerably as it means for example that I can continue to get pissed out of my skull and drive home after, and if I happen to knock some unfortunate bugger into the ditch then that’s fine as someone somewhere else is doing some good to make up for it? That is indeed a load off my mind.
There are a couple of points though that do concern me a little.
This concept of dividing the world into two halves is a little strange. Have you discussed this with China, Russia and indeed America? And do I have a choice where I can live? Personally I can see history’s greatest ever migration as the entire West moves to the East, leaving no one in the West apart from a few Jedi and a bunch of Anti-Smokers. That would kind of fuck up the equilibrium?
There is also this business of the drones.
Suppose thirty of us spend a night in the pub [which isn’t a very big place and has a low ceiling] does that mean that there are going to be thirty drones hovering low over our heads in a very confined space? Surely that will lead to multiple collisions and a consequent danger to the patrons?
And what about a night at the opera? A couple of thousand drones whining away in the auditorium are going to prove more than a little distracting to the performers?
There is also the very simple point that some piece of machinery nagging me constantly about my smoking and threatening me with a “safety champion” is going to boil my piss to unrivalled levels. Do you really think I am not going to retaliate either with a baseball bat or a 12 bore? Those drones would have to be incredibly nimble and armoured to a degree that would make them unaerodynamic.
Anyway, I already have a drone that is with me for life and nags me constantly about my behaviour. I call it “Herself”. I’m not sure I need another one.
I am at a loss with this concept of forcing people to be free. Maybe you should look up the definition of freedom?
free·dom
ˈfrēdəmnounnoun: freedom
- the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.
- absence of subjection to foreign domination or despotic government.
- the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.
I think you should possibly revise your use of that word as you fail on all three counts?
Personally the whole concept of a free “safe” world sends a fucking tsunami of shivers down my spine, but then maybe that’s why you describe me as a rock, but in a sea of self righteous do-gooders and politically correct morons whose only interest is in removing any vestiges of freedom I have left?
But thanks for describing me as an “influential blogger”.
I am flattered.
For example granddad lets assume you have a pre crime drone and you are going to the shop.
The pre crime drone would follow you in your car. Should you drive too fast the pre crime drone will issue verbal warnings of the dangers of speed and may inform the authorities after so many warnings.
Another example is smoking. should you light up the drone will issue a verbal warning of the dangers of smoking and may request a health and safety champion to call to your house to discuss the dangers of smoking and how you could kick the habit and may supply the appropriate literature.
It sounds just like my ex-wife (that is why she is my ex-wife)
The whole thing sounds pretty grim. At least you can chuck a missus out the door but those drone things sound far worse. And all to set us free?
This person is seriously disturbed………..
Now don’t be nasty.
[I don’t want to put him off writing these lovely mails, do I?]
I’m not sure about the multiple personality thing and I’m not sure if SS is either.
Not having seen the Simpsons for years I had to look up that reference. Good one! 😀
Well, where and how could I begin to describe the incredible sense of relief I enjoyed at the revelation that his midi-chlorian count will exempt him from a vow of celibacy. All he needs now is someone to be not-celibate with.
Coming(!) to a cinema near you: Star Wars Episode VIII – Supershadow, Escape From Madame Palm.
Are we back to my previous post again? So long as he limits himself to three a week he should be OK?
Wow – you get the most fucking awesome
spamemail.I get mostly stuff about your old pal, W
Doc,
After 5 years of President Obama, America needs real leaders like President George W. Bush.
While working in the Bush administration, I saw how much President Bush valued honesty and transparency. He always stood up for the American people and defended our conservative principles.
If you miss W. too, we have an American-made mug just for you…
Aware as I am exactly how much George meant to you and your own personal War On Tourism,
I’m including the link – http://www.gop.com/act/i-miss-george-w-bush-coffee-mug?utm_source=email&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=GOP_merch_i-miss-george-w-bush-coffee-mug&utm_content=0905-coffee-mug-sla
Cheers!
Strange as it may seem, I miss old Dubya. He was always good for a drop of inspiration whereas the present incumbent is just plain dull. Mind you, he seems to be picking up on old Dubya with his latest “we must save the world by bombing the shit out of anyone we dislike” efforts.
Thanks for the link. Maybe I’ll paint my own?
Hack the drone and use it to harass others or to peep into various windows that you shouldn't be peeping in. Better yet, use it to harass the solicitors that come to your door early in the morning.
And do you think you could act "appropriately" now and then? It seems that I've become your "balance" for some oddball reason. So whenever you get pissed out of your skull and drive home after, knocking some unfortunate bugger into the ditch, I end up being dragged out of bed in the wee hours of the morning to go find an old lady to help across the street. Sometimes I have to break into their house just to accomplish this and my wife is sick and tired of bailing me out of the local tanty.