Dear Ivor Callely,
I trust your first night in the old clink was reasonably uncomfortable?
Now you may think that with my past attitude to politicians that I would be gloating at your incarceration, but that is not so. In actual fact I am extremely annoyed that they decided to send you to the 'Joy, even if it is only for a couple of months.
You see, I don't think you really care that much. You have indicated in the past that you are not exactly a person of great conscience so the fact that you will have a criminal record will more than likely be a bit of a joke to you.
What exactly will this prison term achieve? Well, for a start it is going to cost the taxpayer a considerable sum, seeing as the average cost of each prison term is €65,000. I could do quite a lot with that money and I don't see why it should be wasted on little cunts who get caught screwing the system. Is it going to teach you a lesson? I doubt it. In fact I cannot see a single benefit in sending you to jail.
Justice should be balanced. You screwed us, by falsely claiming money off the taxpayer [I will put aside that your whole existence as a politician was essentially a screwing exercise in robbing the taxpayer to piss our money against a wall] so have we seen any of this cash returned? I don't mean that you should just hand the money back as that is no punishment. You should hand the money back until it hurts.. At the very least, you should forfeit any and all pensions that you consider yourself entitled to. Any politician who is caught with his or hand in the till should automatically forfeit all rights to any pension or state pay-off. Now that would hurt.
In the meantime, have a nice time with Whacker "The Dildo" Mulligan in Cell 18. He'll teach you what it's like to be screwed.