I know you have all been sitting on the edges of your seats.

You are all dying to know the outcome of my wait that I had on Monday?

In the end, my wait lasted until Thursday.

Last week I ordered a skip [or "dumpster" as you ignorant Merkans call it].  I ordered it on line and everything went smoothly.  I gave the site all my details and it happily chewed them up, but then it stopped.  I never got to that final "Thank you for your order" shit that most sites throw up.

I phoned the company and got talking to a nice chatty Young Thing, who probably looked like the rear view of a rhinoceros, but she sounded nice.  I told her what had happened and she cheerfully announced that yes, my order had gone through and my skip was to be delivered on Monday in the PM [the website gave an option of AM or PM – they obviously like to be exact].

You know what happened on Monday.  No fucking delivery.

I phoned them again on Tuesday morning. They happily announced that there was no record of my order on the system.  I explained as patiently as I could [I can show remarkable restraint at times] that I had confirmed the order the previous week, and could she check again.  She did and cheerfully announced that she had found the order but it had been canceled for some reason she couldn't explain.  I cheerfully made some suggestions that involved computers and anal orifices.

To cut a long story short, I placed another order and the skip duly arrived yesterday very promptly in the PM.

My general intention is to clear out the garage which has been accumulating rubbish and junk for the last fifteen or so years.  It had reached the stage where there was only a narrow passageway to the door into the house, and apart from wanting to clear the place a bit, there is talk of installing a central heating boiler in the corner.  I am led to believe that it is quite a difficult job to install a boiler under about five feet of festering rubbish?

I made a great start last evening.  By the time I shut down operations, the skip was already a quarter full and the garage looked like a bomb had hit it.  I could even see new areas of floor that hadn't seen daylight in decades.  A good days work.

This morning, the skip was full.  However, having duly returned three double mattresses, four sacks of disgusting underwear, an old black and white television, a rotting dog kennel and a Fiat Punto to their rightful owners, the skip is now only a quarter full again.

Time for some work…….