10 tips for Americans visiting Ireland — 18 Comments

  1. 11. When visiting Wicklow do not stand still, ever, even for a second! Grandad has you in his sights!

  2. Can I add a little to your advice?  Within minutes of landing in Ireland,  we noticed that drivers often ignore those new-fangled light systems and simply drive through any colour they do not like.  In Waterford, an elderly gentleman with a large beard (and a car)  blasted around the traffic to turn right against a red light.  Just one of many  incidents seen in two weeks.  Remember the old joke about the taxi driver and his brother?

    One really good thing.  Here in England we are swamped with vast quantities of road signs.  Ireland is remarkably free from irrelevant clutter – so much easier to concentrate on the great scenery.

    • Green = Drive like the clappers.  Amber = Accelerate like fuck as the lights are about to change red.  Red = Stop if you feel like it.  Simple.

      Here in Ireland we have very informative traffic signs, warning you of non-existant road works, floods on dry roads and you are also frequently reminded how many people have died in whatever county you happen to be in.  On the Dublin ring road [M50] they also happily inform you how many minutes it will be until you reach the next traffic jam.

  3. 12. If you enter a pub on a hot summer afternoon [rare] and order a pint of Red Shandy with a bag of Tayto crisps – you'll pass for a local regardless of accent or skin complexion. CIA operatives do this all the time, weather permitting.

    13. Who's going to win the big match next Sunday?  is always a good conversation opener. But if fellas at the bar ask you your opinion just reply It could be a close game.

    • CIA operatives always give themselves away by wearing dark glasses indoors and talking into their sleeves all the time.

      • Come to think of it where is "The CIA"?  Haven't seen them post for ages, must be up to no-good somewhere.

        • They're all lurkers. But if someone just posts 'Duh' to one of Grandad's witticisms it could be a bored CIA operative who enjoys reading comic books.

  4. why you would go and lie like that man some of us are coming over because it is our heritage and some of us are dumb and would fallow your advice 

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