It's a bit of a while since I was this knackered.
Wednesday was the worst. Up at five in the morning which is a crime, if ever. Then I spent hours mooching around the hospital, drinking gallons of coffee [it was nice coffee, actually] and chatting up the nurses. At one stage I even had a fry-up breakfast [I never eat breakfast] just to pass the time. I presumed because it was served up in a hospital it had to be cholesterol free?
When we got home I tried to have a doze but I was so fucking wired up with caffeine it was impossible, There was a message on the phone to say I had missed a delivery, so I rang the bloke back. He said he would deliver the following morning, so I told him under no circumstances was he to ring the door bell, and to just leave the parcel on the doormat. He agreed to that. I went to bed looking forward to a grand lie-in.
The fucking doorbell went at nine. The twat had decided that because there was a car there that I must be in. He won't be delivering here again in a hurry.
Then the Delightful Daughter phoned in a panic. Her laptop is bust and she knows I'm an expert because I keep breaking mine. I said I would try to fix it. Fucking thing had me demented. It kept switching itself off for no reason, not that it made any difference because it wouldn't load anything anyway. I fucked it in a corner and went to bed with the blissful thoughts of a grand lie-in.
The Atomic Energy Commission woke me at nine this morning to fix my central heating. I had to let 'em in otherwise the Merkans might make it an excuse to invade me. They did a great job and they replaced my molten red reactor vessel with a larger pale blue one. If I have enough breakdowns will I graduate to a black one?
So maybe tomorrow I shall have my lie-in.
If anyone disturbs me this time, there will be blood spilled.