I never go near Dublin unless I absolutely have to.

On the rare occasions I am forced to go, I use the train as I hate the crowded roads, the congestion and the complete lack of parking.  I think the last time I went up was for a meeting with [*cough*] my publishers about The Book and that was years ago.  The time before that I had to [*cough*] attend at the Four Courts and there was no escaping that one.

I can safely say that I am now even less likely not to go to Dublin.

Dublin City Council have finally opened up and admitted that their car clamping and car towing has sweet fuck all to do with improving traffic flow by removing obstructing cars.  The are now freely admitting the fact that their car clamping and towing is purely and solely about money.

Offering bonuses and allowing time off for the number of clamps is insane.  These fuckers are going to go mad clamping anything and everything that isn't moving.  Frankly I would be scared to stop at a red traffic light.  And even if I am legitimately parked somewhere and those fuckers clamp me, you can be damn sure that I would have to wait around for ages until they unclamp and even then I would have to pay and try to recoup the "fine" later.

In a lot of cases they even make the traffic situation worse.  Someone stops for two minutes in a tricky spot and gets clamped – that car is now stuck there in the same tricky spot for a couple of hours at least.

This is nothing short of extortion.  You give a bunch of cowboys a huge incentive and let them loose on an unsuspecting public.  They are going to go mad clamping anything and everything and there is fuck all anyone can do about it.  Jayzus but if I were a cowboy clamper I'd just wait at a bus stop and clamp every bus that comes in – target met, and off to the pub.

Dick Turpin would be so proud.