I suppose you had all forgotten about that webinar?
And those of you who remembered thought I had forgotten?
Well, I hadn't.
Yesterday was the day that Safefood were going to hold an on-line conference or something about childhood obesity, and I was invited.
I knew it was coming up and did a little investigating. Apparently I needed some software for it to work so I hunted for it. Surprisingly I found a version that runs on Linux so I set about installing it. About five hundred error messages later I realised that it realised that I was running an unheard of version of Linux. OK, it's Linux Mint but not a version that most people have heard of.
Anyhows I tried some little hacks and waddyaknow – it installed!
As the time approached I clicked on the link that Safefood sent me and the page promptly told me I needed to download some software. I told it to fuck off. It said fair enough and let me join this webinar thing but using a browser. I sat and watched what looked like a stuck Powerpoint thing but I wasn't hearing anything and I was seeing not much more. I hung up.
Then just out of curiosity, I tried running that programme I had installed. It hadn't appeared on my menu so I had nearly forgotten about it. Anyway, it launched and next thing I realised I was looking at people looking me looking at them. Etcetera. I still couldn't get the sound to work and I was damned if I was going to communicate via sign language so I gave them the only sign language i know, and hung up again.
Really I wasn't bothered.
When you think about it, what had I got to offer them, and even more so what had they got to offer me? Unless they were going to publicly announce that the whole obesity thing is just another scam so that qangos can leech more tax into their pockets then the whole exercise is a waste of their time and mine.
Listen, Safefood… I know you might even read this as you started to follow me on Twitter recently so here is my message to you. Solving this imaginary obesity epidemic [and how can something non-infectious be an “epidemic”?] is simple.
Lardarses broadly [heh!] fall into two categories – those that are happy with the fact and those that aren't. If they are happy then leave them alone. Those that aren't happy know damn well that eating less and exercising more is the answer.
There are those that maybe can't lose wait because of some other incapacity. Fair enough, they'll be attending a doctor anyway so they don't need any fucking bullying by the state.
In other words, people are grown up enough to know what's going on and they don't need any nannying, bullying, cajoling, prodding or "nudging" to make them change their minds. If they, or their kids are overweight IT IS NO ONE'S BUSINESS BUT THEIR OWN.
This seems to be the age of the nannying fussbucket organisations all telling us what's good for us and how we should live our lives their way and not our way,
So my message is simple.
Stop this incessant obsession about health. It ain't healthy.
How about leaving people to be happy in their own way?
Healthy and miserable?
Unhealthy but happy?
I know which I would prefer.