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Satanic rites

Head Rambles Posted on by

I probably mentioned before that the Catholic Church and I parted ways donkey's years ago?

I haven't paid them much heed in the intervening years.  They do their magic incantations and rituals and I do mine.

But I read a thing yesterday about a priest who had been turfed out of his parish.  A complaint had been made to Rome and Rome had responded swiftly and categorically – the priest had to go.

Aha, I thought to myself, another kiddie fiddler?  It must be something incredibly serious for a priest to be moved so swiftly considering how child rapists were allowed stay where they were even when they were known paedophiles?

It was an incredibly serious crime all right.

Apparently he has been officiating at a baptism when he committed his heinous crime.

Had he substituted sulphuric acid for the water to pour over the baby's head?

Had he slaughtered a goat on the altar and then wrapped the baby in its entrails?

Had he insisted on the parents being bollock naked during the ceremony?

Had he claimed that buggering the infant was part of the ritual?

None of the above.

Apparently he let the parents pour the water on the baby's head instead of doing it himself.

Horror of horrors!

Now everyone was happy with this little inclusive arrangement apart from some old biddy in the congregation [and I will bet my last cent it was some old woman – men couldn't give a shite], and the biddy complained to the bishop, and the bishop complained to Rome.  For fuck's sake!

Leastwise, Rome now states that the baby has to be baptised "properly" again.

Reading between the lines, Rome has been gunning for this padre for some time and this was sufficient excuse to get him.  But for his final act of criminality he is lambasted for letting someone else pour water instead of doing it himself?

And they wonder why people are leaving in droves…..

 

Comments

Satanic rites — 18 Comments

  1. Good job they didn't hear about our old doddering parish priest. When he was blessing the infant he would say "I baptise you in the name of the Father, the Son and Hold your Nose!

    • Hah!  I was signed up as a life member when I was only a few weeks old.  As soon as I matured, I declared that contract null and void.

      • Was the declaration of null and void accepted by the other party.

        I did get details of how to go about excommunication decades ago but never got around to it. So according to the Catholic Church records I am still in. For 'letters of freedom' purposes to allow  me get married in a church, I was a baptised non-practicing Catholic.

        It did appear more complex than what is on the Count Me Out website although that option appears to be no longer open.

         

        • I don't give a shite whether they accept it or not.  That's their problem.

          Mind you, the church does come in handy for those occasions that seem to expect a church attendance such as weddings and funerals.  Just so long as they don't expect me to go any other time….

  3. There was me thinking that 95% of peeps south of the border were devout Roman Catholic!   So why are the "troubles" in the north described as sectarian?  They really aren't are they?  It is simply a political dispute over territory, i.e. Britain's right (or not) to govern the six counties.  I can't help thinking that this could have been settled centuries ago if religion hadn't got in the way.

    • That goes back to the old Plantation days where the Protestants were the pro-British and the Catholics were Native Irish.  There were/are in fact quite a few Catholic Unionists and Protestant Republicans.  Confusing!

  4. I was nearly a Cafflick. My Nan had nine kids, my mother being the youngest. The first eight were all christened catholics but by the time my mother arrived the nearest church was a protestant one so she was christened there. I'm sure the Divil is rubbing his hands waiting for me 😉

    • Don't worry – the pope has announced that any non-Catholic can enter Heaven if they lead a good life.  Big of him, innit?

      • That's nice of the pope; but what if somebody doesn't believe in Heaven? Where might he go? I'd say that Knockcroghery on a rainy day in February when your car has a puncture and the nearest garage is twenty miles away must be sheer Hell.

  5. Give me fucking strength. Its not like the padre pissed on the kids head is it? They wonder why attendance in the sky fairy supporters club continue to fall,,,,,

  7. Because myself and 'She-who-can't-be-ignored', never actually got around to getting married, we had our own difficulties with the Roman collars. Twenty-three happy years and two well-adjusted children later, it's interesting to recall that I had to adopt my own son before they'd baptise him. In the mood I was in that morning in the Church, I would have happily held the Priest'd head underwater for a while.

     

    Incidently, did yer man in your story get "de-flocked" and if so, was it the Bishop what done it? Ya couldn't be up to the queer fellows.

  9. Understanding that I'm of a "man made god in his image" kind of mentality…just how long does a donkey live exactly?

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