Dear Caroline, Alice, Claire, Sherry or Whatever the fuck you are calling yourself today.
No. I am not in the blindest bit interested in your disposable e-cigarettes.
For that matter, I am not interested in your fucking e-cig accessories or your poxy e-liquids either.
Today’s special offer of diamond encrusted e-cigarettes [“They are treasures, waiting for you come to dig.”] are probably as related to diamonds as a Gucci handbag is to my ball-sack so you can shove that too. Ella.
I don’t know why the fuck you think I should be interested in bulk buying your crap in the first place?
Incidentally, you can drop all that shite of giving yourself cute sounding western girls’ names because I know for a fact you are Chinese. probably called Wun Hung Lo. How do I know? Because I traced you to Shenzhen, you little fuck.
Now because I’m in a good mood today, I’m not going to take your entire factory output, shove it up your hole and set fire to it. I am going to give you some sound advice instead.
First of all, there is absolutely no point in inventing domain names such as green-e-liquid.com or health-liquid.com. It does not work like that. You have to lease them first and then stick ‘em on a server somewhere.
I might also point out that to use an email address like email@example.com you have to own the domain. Obviously you have the weird idea that opening a freebie email account with 263xmail.com with a username of firstname.lastname@example.org will somehow work? Even with my limited knowledge I know that is a sign of a complete and utter moron.
So in summation – you are a crowd of complete and utter fuckwits who haven’t a fucking clue how to go about marketing and can’t even provide me with a decent email address so I can tell you to fuck off in person.
I shall not be investing.