Once upon a time in the land of Dáil Éireann there ruled a dark lord called Cowen.
The Dark Lord’s Empire ruled for many years during which time he showered the people of the land with cheap worthless trinkets called Euros. When the people realised the trinkets were worthless they became restless, and fearing for his safety, the Dark Lord called upon the fiery dragon known as EU to protect him
There was an uprising however and the evil Cowen was defeated and banished to the wastelands of Offaly.
The people rejoiced because they thought that the Lord Enda who had led the uprising was a fair man and would do much good for the land. They thought he would kill the dragon EU and would return them to prosperity.
As time passed the people became disheartened for they realised that far from being a knight in shining armour, the Lord Enda was almost as bad as the evil Lord Cowen. Not only did he not return the people to prosperity, he started to rob them blind and to give all their possessions to the dragon EU, for he was now truly the ruler of the land.
Within the court of Lord Enda lived the fair maid Creighton. While she secretly fancied the Lord Enda she did speak out against him and was banished from the court. This did not please the Lady Creighton and she vowed revenge. She vowed to create a new court to rival Lord Enda’s court of Fine Gael. And the people of the land laughed for they knew she was a lady of exceptionally little brain and they also knew that her court would be indistinguishable from the Court of Fine Gael.
And the people went back to playing with Twitter and watching reality TV.
And the people muttered with one voice “fuck the lot of ‘em”.