I went to make myself a mug of tea last night.

I turned on the tap and nothing happened.

Nada.

Rien.

There wasn’t so much as a drip or even a breath of air.  I might as well have been playing with a tap in a kitchen showroom.

It meant I had to drink cans of Guinness instead which was of course a terrible sacrifice.

This morning, I tried the tap again.  It spluttered, farted and generally made a sound like a Lada starting up, before settling into its usual low pressure trickle.

The smell of fluoride nearly made me sick.

I don’t know what it is about the local supply but my theory is that we in fact are supplied by a fluoride source which is slightly dilutes with water.  The smell fills the kitchen, and as stenches go, that isn’t my favourite.

I did a wee bit of research on the Interweb about fluoride and there are loads of conspiracy sites claiming that the stuff is supposed to prevent tooth decay but it also sedates the population.  I can tell you there is a flourishing dental trade in this country, and I believe Ireland has an abysmal record of bad teeth so it is doing fuck all good for Irish teeth.  I read that most countries have stopped using it, so why the fuck are we still being subjected?  I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but on this count I might even be persuaded.  Why do I have to drink that shit?  The only way to remove it is to get a damned expensive filtration system in.

It has one thing in its favour though.

It’s yet another cast iron reason not to pay any fucking water taxes.