Well, it looks like summer has arrived.
I’m not talking about the fact that the sun is shining for a rare change.
I’m not basing my pronouncement on the fact that I can actually go out without my snot freezing.
No. I’m basing my assertion on the simple fact that a driver stopped me on the road today and asked for directions. That only seems to happen in the summer.
Now, he was a foreigner [Eastern European? Who gives a fuck?] and he wanted directions to the road to Dublin.
I would like to point out something here at this point. If you want to drive around the mountains at least have the common sense to bring and use a SatNav. If you don’t have a SatNav then buy a fucking map first. And if all that is beyond your meagre intellect then try to remember what fucking road you took to get to the village so you can retrace your fucking steps.
You see, this is a complicated area. I can’t just tell you to take a particular road and that will solve your problem, I have to give detailed directions which frankly I couldn’t be arsed doing. Not that you’d understand that anyway because you’re a fucking foreigner.
I took my usual way out.
I told him to carry on the road he was on and to turn right at the signpost for Dublin.
He thanked me [I think] and drove off.
I should point out that there is no signpost to Dublin up on the bogs. There isn’t a signpost to anywhere up there. It’s bleak and beautiful and it isn’t sullied by such trivial details as signposts. Anyway, there are so many junctions, bog-roads and turf cutters’ roads that signposts would be impossible.
And if you can’t find your way out of the village, you haven’t a fucking chance in hell of finding your way out of the bogs.
Happy days are here again.