I know not one of you is interested in my oil-leak exploits and their final outcome, so I’m going to tell you.
I went off in my trusty chariot [with Penny once again snoring on the back seat – she’s a really dull passenger] and went to the local hardware store. I bought myself a load of PTFE tape and tubes of gunk and gunge and the whole lot cost almost exactly twice as much as the fucking filter.
Back at the ranch I set to work.
Now the problem with the filter is that there are so many fucking joints and all of them have to be
water oil tight.
The first thing to note is that I have to be very careful not to disturb Joint 6. If that leaks, I am fucked as the entire tank can then empty and there is nothing I can do to stop it as it’s the wrong side of the tap.
Anyhows, I dismantled the whole yoke, slathered gunk and rolling tape liberally on the various threads and reassembled it. I turned on the tap.
It seemed to be Joint 3 so I dismantled the whole lot again, re-slathered the joint and reassembled.
This time it was Joint 1 which naturally had been disturbed and I had to disassemble the whole fucking lot again.
We played this game of catch-up for a while – I would fix a joint and another would start leaking until eventually I had pumped half my store of gunk into the joints. After about the tenth fix I reckoned I had it beaten, so I wiped the lot down and waited to see what happened.
This one had me baffled. I had cleaned off each joint and reapplied gunk and gunge so I was on the point of just saying fuckit and setting fire to the lot. But then I realised what had happened.
Each time I had reassembled it, I had to bleed the air out of the top  and I had unscrewed and re-screwed the nut so many times that the washer was fucked. At least that didn’t involve disassembling the whole shagging lot again.
I applied more gunk.
It didn’t leak.
It has rained ever since so it was a bit pointless checking for drips and leaks as the thing was dripping anyway. But today the rain has actually stopped, and so apparently has my leak as the filter is bone dry, and the stench of kerosene has abated somewhat.
I’ll tell you one thing though.
If it leaks again I’m going back to burning coal.
Well that was a most enlightening post.
Thanks you for that because I would have worried all weekend about your leak – tossed and turned in the scratcher wondering.
Now I can sleep in peace.
How well I know my readers. I knew no one would be 8interested.
If it still leaks stick a bucket under it and pour it back in the top as necessary.
There…..fixed that for you!
What do you think I have been doing for the last week? That stuff is liquid gold.
Obviously the filter should have been placed inside the tank. Sure it would have been harder to repair, but you would never have noticed the leak to begin with.
I am sure the government upon hearing of your difficulties will pass some legislation requiring the tanks to replaced at regular intervals, but only after filing an environmental impact statement, getting a permit, a public hearing, and of course using a licensed installer.
Surely it has to be outside for maintenance? I presume filters are supposed to be cleaned or replaced every so often?
As for the fucking gubmint regulating tanks, I suppose it's only a matter of time. Doubtless they'll ban them soon enough and demand we all burn wood pellets or some such fucking nonsense.
it is always the last friggin' thing you check that was the first problem innit
I wouldn't mind if it was the last thing as then I would know to start at the other end. What pissed me off was that it became a circular thing – one leading to another and on to another in a loop – and circles have no end.
Gold End would have solved it in a jiffy. Not sure it's made these days as it probably contained something nasty but brilliant that the EU have banned!
Never heard of Gold End [and nor has the Interweb, that I could find]. The EU must have already banned it!
As the merkans say "back in the day" I was a 'nuclear plumber', in so much as I worked in a nooklear shipyard just across the Irish sea from Belfast roughly as the crow flies. Gold End was a creamy white sticky gunk made from PTFE and some other 'goodies' that I cannot recall that could stop any oil from a leaking thread all by itself without the usual PTFE tape or hemp.
It was a Merkan product and it was fantastic.
Hemp helped of course if the threads were really shite. Actually I may still have some in a bag of plumbing bits 'under the stairs'. I'll have a butchers tomorrow.
Dirko sealant keeps anything back, http://www.gsfcarparts.com/982vg0010 Back in the days before I came in to money I used to do all my own small repairs and I can tell you there are twenty-odd- year old oil, water and gas joints sealed by Dirko and still performing well!
NOW you tell me! I'll keep a note of it in case the tank explodes or something. Thanks.
All ya had to do was ask, I'm not telescopic!
Anyways, we (your fan club) all think that you know everything!
I'll bet it was still chaper than getting the Plumber and you learnt how to fix leaks. The hard part is, now that you are an accomplished leak fixer, dealing with the thoughts that you never want to see another fucking leaking pipe ever again just when you have gained the valuable and expert knowledge of fixing the cunt and knowing you will never need to depend on or have to pay someone else to do the job and rip you off too.
Now how is the burner performing? Are the oil seals there okay too? Ha Ha Ha Ha Har! Har!
DIYer!…..Man after me own heart…..well done GD
I reckon on spending about a fifth of a professional's bill if not less. My problem now is that I have quite a lot of tape, gung and gunge left over but by the time I have another leak, I will either have lost the lot or it will all have hardened and will be useless. The house is full of hardened tubes of glue and sticky stuff that has lost its sticky.
I'm not worried about the burner. It is simplicity to perfection – a pipe dribbles oil into a pot where it burns. No pumps, injectors or any of that shit. I like to keep things simple.
Sell the excess on Donedeal.ie. Great way to get rid of crap and get money for it.
GD, With the PTFE tape, it’s important that it is wound on clockwise, otherwise the fitting will tear it off the threads……just saying