Winning a laptop
The most amazing thing happened to me yesterday.
I was idly spending a few moments sniffing around the Interweb looking at laptops. It was a case of window shopping rather than Windows shopping though. I see all laptops now come either with that abominable Windows 8 or else that other crap Chrome, or whatever it’s called. Not to worry though – they are easily wiped.
I don’t really need a laptop just at the moment, and I can’t afford one anyway but there was no harm in having a quiet drool.
So there I was, dreaming about machines I can’t have, and what happens?
There is a ping, and a mail arrives in my Inbox.
I HAVE WON A DELL LAPTOP!!
What are the odds on that?
I hardly slept last night with the excitement. Naturally I have written to the people involved giving them my full details as I just can’t wait to se my new Dell. They don’t say what model it is, but I hope it’s a decent one and not one of those yokes that’s only good for browsing. Dell wouldn’t be my first choice of manufacturer, but beggars can’t be choosers and one can’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
I have read and reread the mail several times as I still am a little in shock and I keep pinching myself to make sure it isn’t a dream. But there is the mail in all it’s glory –
Tele2 Nederland Corporation:
Customer Service/Information Desk.
Your Reference No:KNN-F/Q1665
Your Batch No:2012-13/1119/MIC.COP
We are pleased to inform you about the release of the long awaited results of Sweepstakes promotion organized by Tele2 Nederland, in conjunction with the foundation for the promotion of software products,(F.P.S.) held in the month of December,2012 in The Netherlands where your email address emerged as one of the online Winning emails in the 3rd category and therefore attracted a cash award of Ђ550,000.00 (Five Hundred and Fifty Thousand Euros) and a Dell laptop.
To begin your claim, do file for the release of your winning by contacting our Foreign Transfer Manager/Funds Supervisor:
INFORMATION NEEDED FROM YOU TO SEND YOUR LAPTOP AND TO ISSUE YOUR CHEQUE ON YOUR FULL NAME AND CONTACT ADDRESS!!
WINNING EMAIL ADDRESS:
Your Reference No:KNN-F/Q1665.
As soon as you send the information to us by Email,this will enable us start your Verification Procedure from our Office here in Europe Rotterdam the Netherlands.
However once the verification is done all the necessary documents that are required for you to receive your laptop and Cash Cheque in your country will be filed
along with your winning CHEQUE PARCEL CONSIGNMENT via COURIER to your contact address you will provide.Please,endeavor to send these required information
via fax as well.If you would like your funds to be deposited on your bank account,we advise that you inform us so that we provide you with further detailed requirements
towards the transfer option.
The Tele2 Nederland E-mail lottery Awards is sponsored by former CEO/Chairman and a consortium of software promotion companies.The Intel Group,Toshiba,Dell Computers
and other International Companies. The Tele2 Nederland E-mail draw is held periodically and is organized to encourage the use of the Internet and promote computer literacy worldwide.
You are also required to send copy of your International Passport/Driver’s licence via email scanned attachment for proper verification.
The options to receive your winnings are as follows:
(1) BY COURIER SERVICE: You can have our affiliate courier company deliver the cheque to your designated address. If you opt for courier service you are to notify this office so that we can forward your certified bank cheque and winning certificate per your request to the courier company to be delivered to you.
(2) ELECTRONIC WIRE TRANSFER: You can opt to use the service of our transferring Bank. If you opt for Bank service you are to notify this office so that we can deposit your winning funds per your request to the Bank to be transferred to you.
(3) PERSONAL CLAIM:You will be required to be here personally at our payment centre for the prize award ceremony that will be televised on our National Channel. Note that you will be required to make payment for the Nederland BelastingDienst Tax (BTW) that will be carefully calculated and a tax application form sent to you for completion.
(Group Co-ordinator EEA region.)
Isn’t that exciting?
Mind you, I’m not quite sure how they are going to send me my spanking new Dell using Electronic Wire Transfer, but I’m sure they will find a way.
The excitement is killing me.
Oh, and I see I won €550,000 as well, which is a nice little bonus.
wow a DELL…free and everything..just need all your details, first born and a blank cheque..you are one lucky fella!
For a laptop, they can have my firstborn and the grandkids as well. Indeed – WOW!
That is almost as good as becoming the beneficiary to a dead Nigerians will!
Nah! They only give you millions. They never offer laptops.
The devil's children have the devil's own luck!
I replied to a similar email this week using my 'real' name of Dr. Hugh G. Rection, My benefactor is now calling me Mr. Rection!
No problem. Just so long as you gave them your correct address. Mind if I borrow that name occasionally?
Hugh Jarsole and Mike Hunt are still available!
Heh! The daughter got caught out with the latter. She was working in a pharmacy and the chemist told her there was a prescription ready for Mike Hunt. Out she goes into a fairly full shop and shouts out "I have a prescription here for Mike Hunt". She was not amused. 😈
I hope you remembered to give them all your bank details GD. I understand that if you also include your PIN number, they upgrade the RAM to 1Gb and include a mouse mat with a picture of a polar bear on a small iceberg.
Just goes to show. There are still some good people in the world…(sigh)
I gave them the PINs to all my cards, just in case. I hope to get a lot more than 1Gb in return.
Hah, That's nuthin'
I won four Ferrari's and ninty five million euro and all I had to send them was the ten grand to Holland to ship me the cars. My big cheque has been left in the dashboard of one of the cars and the lads have assured me that they are aboard a ship, leaving Australia even as we speak.
A Dell laptop, for fuck's sake. There's better doorstops available for pennies.
I can hardly write to them and ask for an alternative make? That would be rather churlish.
I once won a lap dance.
Was she transmitted to your home electronically? Or was a rubber inflatable model shipped by An Post?
Send them Herself’s bank account number and she might get a deposit of ten million naira. You could buy a robot machine to do the house cleaning with some of that.
Why buy a machine when I already have Herself? Isn't that what she is for?