No joke
Wanted
Kind person to sponsor an all expenses paid holiday.
Must be able to commence immediately.
Holiday must be somewhere warmer than this godforsaken fucking freezing country.
Destination must be dog and smoker friendly.
Preferably English speaking but not essential.
Holiday must be of a duration of at least three months; preferably a lot more.
In return, will promise to write daily accounts of my experiences.
Can I come with you? Fed up of being freezing all the time.
You are more than welcome. You can provide the photographic expertise.
Is there such a place? Here, we've had to contend with an idiot groundhog forecasting an "early spring"……and consequently got 13 inches of snow dumped on us last week.
They reckon last March was the coldest ever here. I won't argue with that! And there is more cold to come….
My villa and staff in St. Tropez are at your disposal for as long as you wish. Let me know the date and I will send my private jet to pick you up and take you there.
Sounds good. I'm packed so just tell your pilot to give me a buzz when he lands.
I represent a government agency that offers year long, all expenses paid vacations to Iraq and Afghanistan. We currently do not have any reservations left for Iraq, but please check again in 5 to 10 years for the third iteration.
There is a slight matter concerning US residency or citizenship, but the new enlighten administration has determined that immigration laws are not really laws. You will have to enter the country via Mexico, but guides will assist you for a small fee.
Thanks. I think I know the tour packages your agency provides. I may hold out for the North Korean Tour if that's OK?
"
Wanted
Kind person to sponsor an all expenses paid holiday"
I can do that for you Grandad.. I'm a total sucker like that.. paying for people's holidays and never getting my money back. Ended up paying for my and my 'boyfriend's' trip to Costa Del shithole one time and ended up leaving him off and going to the States instead. He's a slight head wrecker.
The fucking bum still owes me. He's always broke but has plenty of money for the gange though.. the bum.
I'll write it off as a donation to the twisted and emotionally retarded I suppose.
Bloody hell! You really pick 'em, don't you? Ever thought of a money back dating agency?
I sure do GD.
Money back dating agency? hmm.. I like it. If you're not satisfied with the goods on close inspection, you get a refund sorta thing? Excellent!
Try the aptly named Scilly Islands not far from France, where retired Labour prime minister, Harold Wilson, sedately spent the twilight of his socialist years. A different climate from rainy Yorkshire, where so many socialist coalminers live.
Grandad,
Saudi Arabia !!, meets all the above requirements, 35 degrees here this week, you could move in and become my man servant !!- will provide food and water- you'll love the cultural experience !!!!
Hope yer gud lady doesn't read this post of yours as she might just do 'the kindest thing'…
Your post is accompanied by adverts for Vietnamese girls looking for husbands. I assume this is just a coincidence
Sorry Grandad, but I am currently taken up with sponsoring Bankers and Politicians though I can't remember agreeing to do either.