Hero blogger exposes massive fraud
I know newspapers have to sell copies but…….
I came across banner headlines in a couple of papers yesterday –
Hero passenger helps to land jumbo jet after co-pilot falls ill on flight
Come on now lads…..!
For fuck’s sake!
Let’s look at the facts.
A plane was en route from New York to Frankfurt.
The co-pilot suffered a severe attack of migraine. Nothing life threatening but not conducive to clear thought.
Pilot decides to divert to Dublin as a precaution.
Pilot is quite capable of landing on his own, and anyway cabin staff are trained to assist with check-lists in such a situation. However, it is noted from the passenger lists that a passenger is an off duty airline pilot. Said passenger sits in for the co-pilot during a routine landing.
So the headlines would have us believe that the entire crew were incapacitated and some heroic bloke with a few hours experience on Microsoft Flight Simulator managed to land the plane while the world held its breath? Whereas the truth is that an off duty pilot sat in for the co-pilot during a normal diversion?
What is so fucking heroic about that?
And they wonder why I don’t buy newspapers.
'Mythbusters' did a piece along these lines – could a passenger land a 747 if the pilots were incapacitated. Notwithstanding that all commercial aircraft can land themselves (at the flick of a switch), which (for the sake of dramatic telly) was ignored, they discovered, unsurprisingly, that without ground help the plane crashed*. Talked down by a light aircraft pilot (who knew where the right buttons and levers where) both manual attempts were successful. In fact they were perfect landings.
(* the exercise was done in a fight simulator…..)
I read a book many years ago on that very subject – Talkdown by Brian Lecomber. He is a pilot as well as an author so he knew what he was talking about. He said exactly the same thing – that a plane could only be helped down by a pilot flying alongside. If I remember correctly, some years after I read it there was an actual case that paralleled the book almost to the letter, where a light aircraft was talked down in just that way.
You don't expect them to report real news, what a rag that IE is I check it online and notice anything of interest they don't allow comments. Anything about Dame Edna the EU or IMF is off limits.
I like IE for the laugh. Some of the shite they print is great! One of today's headlines – "Twink faces prosecution for eight motoring offenses on her next birthday" Fuck! How do they know she is going to offend on her next birthday? Yet another fucking publicity stunt!
Lufthansa in an official statement about the incident described the Passenger who aided the Second Pilot as a Hero.
The Snooze Papers just capitolised on that…….eh!……fact.
Boeing 747 400 does have Automatic landing Systems. If its not the 400 model then you would have to follow the following the following procedures;
Get on the radio, and tell whoever’s listening that you have a problem and don’t know exactly what to do.
Engage a single channel of the autopilot — light one of the buttons labeled “CMD.” Point the heading indicator in the direction indicated to keep the plane straight and level.
Find the checklists in the side pocket of the pilot’s and copilot’s seat. If the plane turns out to be a 747-400, you’re in luck: just engage the Automatic Landing System (ALS). If it isn’t a 747-400, see below under “No ALS.”
If you can’t find the checklists, use these:
EO’s system check completed.
All a/c packs on. Set the airfield altitude so the plane is depressurized on landing.
HSIs: Radio. Switch horizontal situation indicators to radio navigation mode.
Approach briefing: understood. This is where you get a full briefing by the landing pilot, but since that’s you, you might as well skip this step.
Auto brakes: set. Hopefully the brakes start working when you touch down.
call: “Cabin crew 15 minutes to landing.”
Cabin signs and exit lights: on.
Ignition: on. This sets the engine igniters for landing.
Fuel system: set for landing.
Fuel heat: check/off
QNH: Set. So the altimeters read the airfield altitude on touchdown.
: handle down, handle in, light green.
Speedbrake: armed. So you don’t bounce.
Landing flap: set at 25 degrees.
SCCM’s report: received. The cabins are secure for landing.
Find the Jeppeson charts. A big notebook of maps and landing approaches for every airport in the world. Locate the radio frequency.
Find the flight management system. Buttons on the glareshield marked LNAV and VNAV.
Put the Jeppeson map on a 100 mile scale using the EFIS control panel on the front panel. You’ll get a yellow FMC message on the middle screen when it’s time to land.
On the control display unit between the pilots’ seats, twist the knob until the little numbers go down to 100 ft. above field elevation in the Jeppeson notebook.
Get the aircraft set to land: press the LOC and G/S buttons on the glareshield. All three CMD lights will go on, and the system will automatically tune to the right ILS frequency.
Turn on the autobrakes when the plane starts descending. You’re done.
You probably won’t make it, but hey — might as well try.
Retard the throttle. Four levers for four engines.
Keep the nose up, and descend to 20,000 feet. When you get there, bring the throttles back up. You’ll still be going 300 knots or so.
You have to drop below 250 knots when you descend to 9,000 feet. Keep the nose up and throttle down.
When the tower brings you down to 5,000 feet.You need those flaps out so you can fly slow.
Drop airspeed by setting flaps to 5, then 15, when you’re down to 4,000 feet.
As you start descending to the runway, you want flaps 20, then 30. Keep them there.
When you reach 50 feet or so, the radar altimeter will start talking.
When it says, “30,” bring the throttle back to idle.
At 10 feet, raise the nose to slow down.
Lower the nose, reverse throttles, and apply the brakes. Cake.
The aircraft is reputed to be as easy as a Cessna trainer to fly.
If you can't find another Pilot (HERO) to help then you're fucked.
Another Microsoft Flight Simulator fan? Or did you used to be a
Yep! I'm always flying around the place. Usually loaded on a nice Vino.
Don't know what happened with the follow following following typos. Must have been this sites ALS
There is fuck all wrong with this sites ALS. It brings people down to earth all the time.
With a bang!
OK, so the ALS needs a wee tweak or two…..
Follow the above procedure. Just ad Drink and one Pilot.
Jeez… Anyway yeah GD don't they really piss you off? Do.me. Hey, have you heard anything at all in The Ireland about the Gaza shit going down?
Very little about Gaza. They're too worried about investigations into killing hospital patients. one thing that never changes about Ireland – still as fucking parochial as ever.
You are my hero, Grandad!
I'm not a Hero. I'm a celebrity.
Damn….I am truly impressed by Slab and considering printing out his reply for future reference; however, copy paper is in rather short supply these days.
GD What? No sympathy for those poor souls who landed and, I assume, had to spend some time in Dublin? See your post of a few days ago.
The passengers were spared that pleasure as in true Irish fashion, there are no decent transport links between Dublin Airport and Dublin City. In other words – welcome to Ireland.
Here's why I don;t buy bloody newspapers…
From The Telegraph according to Google News
Britain commits to £1.2bn space spending
Britain will play a larger role in European space projects after committing to a spending package worth £1.2 billion over the next five years.
Britain doesn't have any fucking money!
Must stop looking at Google News as well. Bad for the blood pressure.
Aren't we up to our oxters in debt to the EU but we are still shipping millions in aid to Africa? Or rather we were until we discovered it was all vanishing into back pockets, Rolls Royces and the like.
Not that you have any spare time Richard but here's another blog worth a read… in my humble. http://nollyprott.wordpress.com/
Bloody Hell! That is a lot of reading! Your penmanship?
I'll pass it on to Yer Man, wherever he is.