I love it when the Tree Huggers go all anally retentive.
I came across an article yesterday where we are advised how to reduce our pets’ “pollution footprint”.
This got me thinking. How can a pet be a polluter? Pollution is after all the introduction of unnatural substances into the environment so how does that apply to pets? Are there horses running open cast mines? Are there donkeys in charge of coal fired power stations? Do beagles drive around in SUVs?
I had to read the article.
Apparently they scare or kill wildlife and require food, toys, and other supplies that have environmental impacts. And pets often do “their business” outside.
So scaring a bird is now pollution? Well bugger me with a barge pole, but I had no idea things were that bad.
And pets “require” toys? The Manor here is full of toys that the grandkids play with and rarely put away, but so far our Penny hasn’t shown any interest. Maybe what she really wants is a model railway? Or a radio controlled model airplane? Or maybe they mean an inflatable Pamela Anderson? So, supposing I do discover that our Penny is really into something like Lego, how exactly does that affect the planet?
Probably my favourite paragraph though concerns poo.
“The life forms that actually like animal scat are the smelly, harmful bacteria that can make us sick. Plus, these wastes act as artificial fertilizers that throw the whole ecosystem out of whack.”
Now I never knew that bacteria had an odour, smelly or otherwise? I learn something new every day.
But what about animal shit being an “artificial fertiliser”? Since when did cats and dogs start shitting sacks of granulated nitrogen or whatever farmers throw around these days? I have discovered [to my cost] that the shite that our Penny produces is very definitely not artificial, nor is it in sacks. It is pure, natural unadulterated crap. What’s more, being untouched by human hand it is perfect for the environment. It is, as they say biodegradability at its best.
Of course there is a very simple way to reduce an animal’s “pollution footprint”.
Just cut its legs off.