According to a study…
I was poking around in the Indo this morning and came across their health section.
What did I see but a clatter of “startling revelations”.
GETTING out in the sun and eating foods rich in vitamin D could reduce the chance of having a stroke, according to research.
BEETROOT juice can improve your puff, potentially benefiting swimmers, singers, and mountaineers, research has shown.
A NEW study appears to confirm that women have a significantly better sense of smell than men while older people can identify more garden scents than those half their age.
CALCIUM supplements taken by millions people every day can double the risk of heart attacks, according to a study, while researchers say they do little protect bones against fractures.
MARRIED men eat healthy food at home in order to keep the peace with their wives but gorge on junk food when they go out, according to a new study.
What is this all about? Who commissions these “studies”? What fucking dickhead picks the subjects for these timewasters? Who the fuck cares if I can identify more garden smells than my daughter? Most important – who pays for all this rubbish?
Probably the weirdest is the “new research” that claims that snoring can raise cancer risk five-fold!
What fucking twat came up with the original brainwave that there may be a link between snoring and cancer? What in the name of all that’s holy was he smoking?
The article does actually touch on a far more probable link – “As being overweight can cause cancer, it could simply have been the case that snoring had no active role in promoting cancer, and was simply a proxy for obesity. ” but then they head back into fairy land and claim that “the association was stronger for those of a healthy weight than the obese”. In other words, obesity protects against cancer.
I presume someone has to pay for all this crap, and I presume that someone is the taxpayer?
The whole world really is going insane.
“Reading the Health Section on the Indo, can increase blood pressure and stress levels”, a new report has found.
Talk about a lie of omission. I can speak to the study about Calcium and heart attacks. The same “headline” showed up all over the place here also. A local TV new department looked into the claim and found that what the study really said was that the human body can use X amount of calcium per day and if one were to double that intake your risk of heart attack goes up. Also if you increase your calcium intake beyond what your body can use it will not add more bone protection beyond what a normal dose does. So in conclusion it’s the media headline not the research that is flawed this time, in this example
Presumably all of these new studies are deliberately so far fetched that “further research” is needed which will require “emptying your pockets” a bit more just to prolong the “gainful employment” of these bollixmongers.
John – Heh! How much did that little study cost? Was it peer reviewed?
Brianf – The majority of these studies are either totally worthless of else state the bleeding obvious. The so called experts love them because they can claim grants, and the papers love them because they fill column inches.
Tim – Either that, or there is a flurry of research to prove the opposite view. “New study finds that cancer causes snoring”.
There was a study carried out a number of years ago which proved that all Polar Bears were left handed, now that was definitely worth the money. So if ever you get attacked by a polar bear and have to defend yourself be aware he is a South Paw.
It is very important to know whether a Polar Bear is left or right handed [pawed?]. If you are giving him a pen to sign the hotel register, you need to know which paw to put it in.
That’s awful Grandpaw !!
And, by the way, during an idle moment at lunchtime (honest boss!!) I read this in today’s Daily Telegraph:
“Ireland had Jedward, the disturbingly doll-like X Factor twins. They sang about falling in love with a girl. No viewer expects to escape the Eurovision Song Contest without some degree of psychological scarring but the idea of Jedward as sexual beings will be difficult for all but the hardiest to recover from. Soon you’ll see them sleeping rough, or stumbling into rehab clinics and soup kitchens: people who watched Jedward at Eurovision 2012 were never able to readjust to normal life”
Love it!!!
i want to be paid to do a study on who the fuck cares! come on gov’t show me some money i’ll do it i promise
Happy Holiday to all you miserable twats.
Mossy – Are you aware that Jedward saved the Eurovision?
Cat – If you can include a bit about Global Warming or Tobacco Control, you can claim ten times as much.
tt – And a Happy Christmas to you too, Sir.
I’ve got a study that proves that watching and/or listening to Jedward can dramatically increase negative psychological reactions to dangerous levels. Where’s my grant money??
Actually, while I’ve got the ball rolling; I’ve got a potentially huge money making product idea – Jedward voodoo dolls!! More research grants needed there I think.
K-chingggg!!!!!
Fuck all of that GD, I’m on the See Food Diet
InisEanna – Jedward Voodoo Dolls? I like it. Though I suppose any old shaving brush would do?
Hey Slab! You went missing for a day. Too much sun? Heh!