I just tried a little experiment.

I typed “awareness days” into Google.

382,000,000 results!

This is a thing that has been around for some time [though you may not be aware of the fact] and it leaves me baffled.  Most of these “awareness days” seem to pass by without us even being aware of them.  A fucking pointless exercise if ever there was one.

Will someone please tell me what they are all about?  What is the point in my being aware of something?  Most of them cover topics that I am already aware of and the rest, I couldn’t give a flying shite about.  And when I do become aware of something, what the hell am I supposed to do about it?

One of the sites I found gives a list of some of the exciting forthcoming “awareness days”.  There is a “Maths Awareness Day”.  What the hell is that about?  Am I going to have a Damascus Moment and suddenly realise for the first time in my life that two numbers can be added together?  And a “Water Awareness Day”? There isn’t a single person alive on the face of this blighted planet who isn’t aware of water.  What can they possibly tell me about water?  It’s wet?  You can drown people in it?  Some people have too much while others don’t have enough?  I know all I need to know about water, and I certainly don’t need to be made aware of it.

Every now and then I hear of someone spouting on about how “we need to increase public awareness” about some fucking hobbyhorse or other.  This is usually a sign that they are going to try to fill the newspapers with horror stores about whatever is the flavour of the day.  For example, I see there is a “Salt Awareness Day” coming up.  Doubtless they will see this as a golden opportunity to regale us with terrifying [and imaginary] statistics [just as well we had the Maths Awareness Day?] about the terrifying dangers of salt.  I like salt on my chips.  I don’t like salt in my marmalade.  That is all I need to know.  If it hasn’t killed me by now then it isn’t dangerous.  They can go fuck themselves with their “Salt Awareness Day”.

Some time ago, some crowd got the idea of using a twisted yellow ribbon as an “awareness” symbol.  Various other groups thought this was a brilliant idea and used exactly the same ribbon but in a different colour.  I have seen cars with more of these twisted ribbons on them than a spitfire had swastikas in the Battle of Britain.  And I can guarantee that no one has a clue what each colour is supposed to represent.

I think I will declare today to be “Awareness Awareness Day”.

The public need to be aware about how pointless awareness is.