I have just been rudely awoken from my slumbers.
I was sitting here with my eyes closed, enjoying the scent of freshly cut grass from the garden and just thinking about nothing. I then made the mistake of switching on Lyric FM.
I like Lyric FM. It is a classical station that isn’t as snobbishly highbrow as Radio 3 and tends to play what I would call middlebrow classical.
As I said, I switched it on and kept the volume low to accompany my idle thoughts, but was very rudely awoken.
Some fucker seems to have taken over the station and is playing Jazz! Instead of some gentle Mozart, Brahms or Beethoven, what I get is fucking Art Tatum.
There is a style of jazz that I cannot tolerate. It makes my ears bleed. It’s the type of jazz where four or five blokes come on and they each play a different, totally airless tune all at the same time. It seems to be obligatory that there is a piano, a saxophone and a trumpet, and the only talent required is that they be able to play as many notes as possible without any regard for what the others are playing.
I have a theory that everyone in fact hates jazz. They are just afraid to admit it. It’s a case of the king’s new clothes where no one dare be the first to admit that jazz is tuneless shite.
I kept the volume on very low in the hopes that the presenter would see the light and play something decent, but no – all we got was Art Tatum after Art Tatum.
I have given up on the radio.
I would like to go back to my doze.
But my ears are still hurting.