I have mentioned Twitter once or twice in the past.

I have even been know to mention Facebook in passing.

The reason I am mentioning them again is that I think I may have confused some people.  In fact that is more than likely as they have confused me.

Take Twitter for example.  Every now and then, the nice people at Twitter write to me to tell me that someone new is following me.  Can anyone tell me what I am supposed to do about this none too covert stalking?  Am I supposed to thank Twitter?  Am I supposed to thank the new follower and do I then start following them?  That could be a tad awkward as we would just follow each other in ever decreasing circles until we vanished up our own arses. 

There is another thing that puzzles me too.  Every so often someone shouts my name with FF attached.  What the hell is this?  Funny Fellow?  Fucking Fool?  Am I supposed to thank them or curse them?

Facebook is another matter altogether and frankly is even more confusing.  People don’t stalk you there.  Oh no, they are quite up front about it and demand to be your friend.  There are lots of people who want to be my friend but my parents warned me about them.  “Beware of strangers who offer you sweets” they said, though in Facebook it’s more a case of “Beware of strangers who want to poke you”.  I suppose Facebook is at least a bit more honest about it?

I get quite a few emails from Facebook every week.  They all say the same thing though I have never bothered to read them all.  They all whinge on about my family and how they have found two possible relatives of mine.  Ok, so one is a niece-in law [is there such a thing?] and the other is that K8 one that I have been trying to disown for years, so I’ll give Facebook half marks for effort.  I would join up with their fucking Family Tree just to stop the fucking mails, but then they would have won.  So no fucking chance!

The one little yoke that I do use quite a lot is Skype.  I don’t shout about it because it would be boring.  I have friends that I call up and have a chat with, or who will trade long text messages with me.  However, like any ordinary phone, I’m picky about who calls me.  I have enough problems with cold callers without inviting them onto my computer too.  The odd time I will get a request from some total stranger who wants me to let them see when I am on line.  Why?  Do they want to phone me?  Or do they just want to see when I am up and about?  The sad news for them is that I only go on line at certain times.  My friends know when those times are, but no one else does, so those total strangers could be waiting a very long time.

I think on the whole I’m better off leaving all this Social Media shite to the young people.  They can happily spend their time swapping boring photos and even more boring videos and telling each other that they have just arrived in Burger King.

I’m off to the pub.

Now that’s social!