In case of emergency
Why buttons?
What’s wrong with zippers?
Have you never thought of Velcro?
But buttons? For fuck’s sake.
Buttons on a fly are fucking lethal.
At my age I never know when I might need emergency access.
Fucking buttons!
Idiots.
Head Rambles
A sideways look at life by an Irish Grandad
You haven’t got your wedding suit out of mothballa, have you? Buttons on a fly go with memories of long speeches by the bride’s uncle Freddie who is well oiled and thinks he’s hilarious telling stories.
You must be wearing trousers as old as yourself to still have buttons.
Ian – Brand new trousers, unfortunately. I am baffled… what having speeches to do with flies? Did Uncle Freddie have his open during the speech?!
Mossy – The fucking things seem to be back in fashion.
Should we be thankful that it’s not glass?
Welcome Manwiddicombe! That’s a good point. Would it have to be shatter-proof? Frosted? I think I’s still prefer a zip.
If you had ever trapped a portion of your foreskin in a zip*, I think that you may have written another text today.
* My son did – very painful and embarrassing at the hospital.
Trapping various parts of my anatomy is a risk I am willing to take. Anyway, after decades of practice it’s not a problem I worry about.
Another text? Where? Did I miss something?
Sounds like a scene from Cinderella – Buttons, Buttons, where the fuck is he.
It wouldn’t fly if his name was Zip.
Zip is a grand name…. Captain Zip – the Fastest Man in the Universe!
Levi’s 301’s have a lot to answer for, Bastards….
Slab – Very very true. Actually these aren’t Levis. I’m not sure what they are but to check, I’d have to remove them. I ain’t doing that. Too many fucking buttons.
Maybe it’s me, but I have the opposite problem, not enough buttons !! Has anyonr else noticed that most jeans are missing one button ? My older jeans have 5 buttons most new ones have only 4.Even the zips are shorter, had a row with the manager in a Levi store just for asking the difference between mens’ and ladies’ jeans and how a man could piss standing up without taking one’s trousers down ?!!
I trust you included a graphic demonstration?