Tallaght General Hospital
Could you please report for your hip replacement surgery on the 23rd January 2065.
Due to financial cutbacks we would ask you to bring the following in addition to pyjamas, soap and toothbrush:
- A penknife [how sharp is up to you].
- One RS M10. New is preferable, though second-hand will suffice.
- One tube of water resistant, high impact adhesive.
- Needle and thread.
- Bottle of whiskey or other anaesthetic of your choice.
Your operation is booked in theatre 4, at 10AM.
Punctuality is appreciated.
Discharge from hospital will be at 1PM.