I am sick and tired of hearing about that fucking wedding.
Herself has been wittering on about it all week, and I am being driven demented.
I told her to shut the fuck up about it, but she just accused me of being unromantic.
She rabbited on about them being a lovely couple and that they were madly in love and that I should be happy for them on the biggest day of their lives.
I pointed out that they were only getting married because she was up the stick and her father happened to be the proud owner of a large shotgun, and was known to be a complete lunatic.
I told her all about the groom – that he was a waste of oxygen and had never done a day’s work in his life and that the only time he ever used his brain was to calculate how to sponge more allowances off the state.
I told her all about the bride – how she was known throughout the land as ‘the bike’ and how she had had more rides than a professional jockey.
In the end we agreed on a compromise.
She agreed not to mention the wedding again, and said we needn’t go.
In return, I moved the portable television down to her shed, so she could watch the other wedding.
The royal one.
Billy Idols “White Wedding”.
Y’all have me totaly confused.
Now I’m confused.
Herself was on about some local wedding. Pawned her off with the wedding Over The Water.
Was it a shotgun type? I think I heard that the groom wore red to honor the Irish Guard. True?
Royal wedding? Where’s Al Qaeda when you need ’em.
🙂 Always good for a chuckle Grandad.
I got asked a couple of times today why I’m not more excited about that “other wedding.” And no, as much as I like the Royal Family, I did not get up at 4.00am to watch it this morning…. They sure are making a meal of it over here!
‘a waste of oxygen’ Like that 🙂
I’m not usually easily fooled…but you had me on with this one. Thanks for the laughs.