I have seen the light
On Saturday, I was downloading some
porn files from the Interweb, when a thought struck me.
They were very large files, so I left my laptop to it and did some other things around the place. In the course of my doing, I passed close to the laptop, and it was then I had my thought.
I have one of those wireless thingies to connect my laptop, so every time I walked by it, millions of bits of
photos of naked wimmin files were actually passing through me to get to the laptop. That was quite an astounding thought but then I had another. I connect to the Interweb using wireless broadband, so in fact those bits of files were all passing through me twice – one on the way to the aerial on the roof and then again on the way to the laptop.
It was then that I thunk a bit more and realised that wasn’t the end of it.
There is the electronic fence for Sandy. That is sending out signals that her collar picks up, so they must be passing through me too.
Then there are the mobile phones that are transmitting to let the mobile phone masts know where they are, and the mobile phone masts themselves that are transmitting all those irritating text messages by the billion. Those text messages may not be destined for my phone, but the mast has to transmit them all anyway, so they are all passing through me all the time as well.
We get about six hundred television channels of pure junk that come down from a satellite. They have to be saturating the air too. But what’s worse is that there are hundreds of satellites up there all banging out their shite to earth and are presumably irradiating my poor bones.
While we are on the subject of satellites, we might as well throw in all those GPS yokes that chat away to my Roger [when he is working properly]. They are all transmitting their crap and I pick that up as the satellites don’t realise I’m not a SatNav.
What about all those radio and television signals that don’t come from a satellite? They too are being pumped out into the now rather confusing mess of radio waves that are saturating me.
My penultimate thought was that if I could actually see all those radio waves I would be blinded by all the multicoloured lights shining at me from all directions. It’s no fucking wonder that my brain gets a bit confused at times. It’s not old age; it’s all the shite that is flowing through it day and night.
My final thought was why can I never find that roll of kitchen tin-foil when I really need it?
Mass tinfoil production stopped with the manufacture of the the cassette tape and the screwball ice-cream. Imagine how obese we’d be if bits of information travelling via wi-fi were fattening.
How old is that photograph of your good self?
notRuairi – That’s a strange argument? You could equally say imagine how drunk we would be if w–fi were alcoholic. Holy shit!! There’s an idea. I’ll have to get working on that.
TT – The kid brother. I don’t talk about him because they don’t let him out very often.
If only we could harness all this energy freely available in the air – we could reduce our electricity bills !
Perhaps even have some spare to sell back to the power company (at three times the price that we buy power from them).
Thinking caps on, boys !
so, are you feeling all sparky?..snicker..opps…brb, feel a movement of electrons in my lower bowel
A colleague used to encounter a man who claimed to be controlled by radio signals; these signals, he asserted, were particularly strong around Ballybough in Dublin.
We were inclined to disbelieve such claims, but, after reading this, he could be right!
Wow! Finally! A hat I would wear!
Turns out Flann O’Brien may not have been as mad as a Garda’s mother after all with his bicycle molecule theory in the Third Policeman.
Thats what makes me laugh about the passive smoking bollocks Groanda, there are people in cities out jogging in the city streets and inhaling large amounts of toxic particles they cannot see and therefore think are not there. And they are the ‘healthy’ ones?
Anyone notice the little bits in the paper about the measuring of traces from the Fukushima plumes and the statements that they are much lower than the ‘normal levels of background radiation’?
Overhead strip lighting. Underground cabling with a halo of radiation extending around it. Anything electrical. Why do you think the recommendation is that pregnant women take more regular breaks away from screens?
‘Passive smoking’ me hole. Still. They tell me that Times Square is non-smoking now and is therefore healthy.
K’sakes. Anyway how’s yourselves?
Times Square and Central Park etc are actually scheduled for a ban in May. NYC CLASH is organizing a protest against it. http://nycclash.com if you’re interested and want to join in!
Hint: Tin foil hats don’t work at all unless they’re properly grounded. Otherwise they keep building up a charge until it gets to the point of discharge. Then your head explodes.
I cant wait until we can send ourselves like that! Imagine being able to email or download yourself to spain for the weeekend – spend a few hours re-fragmenting and then on with your hols! wonderful!
April 6 (Bloomberg) — Tokyo Electric Power Co. is pumping millions of gallons of radioactive water into the sea from its crippled Fukushima Dai-Ichi plant as contamination exceeding health guidelines was detected in fish for the first time.
Cesium was found in fish caught north of Tokyo yesterday as the utility prepared to discharge another 10,000 tons (2.6 million gallons) of water from the plant to make room for storing more highly radioactive fluids. Dumping began April 3 because radioactive water on site is hindering repair of cooling pumps.
Honest to God Cap’n where the fuck do you get your info from? Right wing radio talk show hosts/corporate whores?
I live too close to Roswell, New Mexico (about 100 miles or so). The nut cases over there sit around all day, with foil wrapped around themselves, waiting to pick up the alien signals. Now there are some screwy folks.
tt I get my information from analysing what I see and hear and using my brain to interpret it. I’ve never listened to any left or right wing radio hosts.
You’ve completely misunderstood my post. Humans who live in cities experience all sorts of radiation all day long.
I’m not one of these dickheads who think Russia is beaming waves at them. I just understand what I’m looking at when I see some machinery nearby. Its called physics, thermodynamics added to the understanding that not all threats can be detected as easily as someone exhaling some smoke ten yards away.
Most health threats to the human body in the western world cannot be seen with the naked eye. Which is why dumb cunts whine so much about the particles they can see and which constitute a threat ‘too small to measure’ according to the Nobel Prize winning scientist who discovered the links between smoking and cancer.
Most US cities are pretty much lethal and that won’t change by banning smoking. Not even by a fraction of a percent.
I agree about passive smoking. I am just pissed off at the corporate world minimizing the truth of the disaster in Old Nippon.
“You’ve completely misunderstood my post.” Maybe you should make yourself clearer for us seppos.
I’m glad to see you children have been having fun while I was away!
OK GD. Sorry. Back to potholes.