On Saturday, I was downloading some
porn files from the Interweb, when a thought struck me.
They were very large files, so I left my laptop to it and did some other things around the place. In the course of my doing, I passed close to the laptop, and it was then I had my thought.
I have one of those wireless thingies to connect my laptop, so every time I walked by it, millions of bits of
photos of naked wimmin files were actually passing through me to get to the laptop. That was quite an astounding thought but then I had another. I connect to the Interweb using wireless broadband, so in fact those bits of files were all passing through me twice – one on the way to the aerial on the roof and then again on the way to the laptop.
It was then that I thunk a bit more and realised that wasn’t the end of it.
There is the electronic fence for Sandy. That is sending out signals that her collar picks up, so they must be passing through me too.
Then there are the mobile phones that are transmitting to let the mobile phone masts know where they are, and the mobile phone masts themselves that are transmitting all those irritating text messages by the billion. Those text messages may not be destined for my phone, but the mast has to transmit them all anyway, so they are all passing through me all the time as well.
We get about six hundred television channels of pure junk that come down from a satellite. They have to be saturating the air too. But what’s worse is that there are hundreds of satellites up there all banging out their shite to earth and are presumably irradiating my poor bones.
While we are on the subject of satellites, we might as well throw in all those GPS yokes that chat away to my Roger [when he is working properly]. They are all transmitting their crap and I pick that up as the satellites don’t realise I’m not a SatNav.
What about all those radio and television signals that don’t come from a satellite? They too are being pumped out into the now rather confusing mess of radio waves that are saturating me.
My penultimate thought was that if I could actually see all those radio waves I would be blinded by all the multicoloured lights shining at me from all directions. It’s no fucking wonder that my brain gets a bit confused at times. It’s not old age; it’s all the shite that is flowing through it day and night.
My final thought was why can I never find that roll of kitchen tin-foil when I really need it?