How ’bout this Grandad:

Speaking as a life long alpha male (with lesbian tendencies), some developments in our society over the last fifteen years are beginning to get on my tits. It started with guys in ads appearing to be goofy. That only registered out on the North Forties of my thinking membrane, because I’ve met loads of goofy blokes. But, at the same time there was a raging racket of nagging female voices demanding things like equality and uttering such condemnations such as, “Thats demeaning to women”, regardless of what it was. When I heard some bitch on the radio telling the Nation that Saint Billy Connelly was demeaning to women, naturally I dismissed such nonsense as menstrual catholic ranting.

But when Wife, Daughter and some know-all Niece begin to nag at me for being myself in my own home, the gentle growling of warning began in me. “Watch out”, I was silently suggesting, “Fuck right off”, I hinted strongly. But, my good manners only seemed to spur the bitches on. I could not crystalize what was bothering me, and tended to sum the whole thing up in the statement, “This country’s changing, and not for the better”.

Then last week, I’m walking down Carey’s Lane one morning and passing a poster on a Nightclub wall, it all came together. It read, ‘Women get in free every Thursday’. When I presented this information to the coven at home, they didn’t see what I was getting at. “‘Course the girls get in free – that’s what brings in the drunken fellas after closing time”, they replied. While this made a tad of sense (from experience), I still maintained it was sexist. So I suggested that men should be allowed in free on Friday nights to balance the gender inequality. You should have seen the nest of vipers spitting venom at that remark. When I added that if the dopey half pissed fannies, drinking all around the city, knew that the nightclub was wall to wall with strutting willies, there’d be a stampede of clacking heels down Carey’s Lane, I was verbally whipped at my own kitchen table.

“This country’s changing, and not for the better”.

John – Congratulations on a comment that is four or five times bigger than the original post!!  Now, if you had sent that as a mail, I could have given it the full glory of its own slot.  I suppose it’s a bit late now though….

FH – Aha!  Good old Nigel.  Yes indeed, you have cheered me up.  Thanks!