I am really pissed off with our county council.
I think I may have mentioned the lane once or twice in the past. The lane is where our council stores potholes and breeds them so that they can later be transplanted to the main roads.
Because of cutbacks, I realised that the council wouldn’t be around to collect them quite so often, so I decided to cash in on the bonanza. I have been very busy over the last few weeks, as a result.
I have set aside the smaller potholes for those daredevil parachutists. I believe it is called BASE jumping? Already I have had quite a few queries from clubs around the country, so I think that will be a winner.
The medium sized potholes, I’m keeping for myself. The landfill is quite a distance from here, so I thought it would make sense if I just used my own crop of potholes for the safe disposal of any unsavoury items I might have lying around.
My plan really comes into its own with the large potholes however. What I have done is to erect viewing platforms on their rims, so that people can get right up to the edge of them and gaze in wonder at the magnificent spectacle beneath. I reckon this is going to be quite an earner, between charging admission and an extra fee for parking. I should also be able to run quite a lucrative sideline selling souvenirs, such as half-axles, suspension parts, constant velocity joints, exhaust pipes and all the other shit that has fallen off vehicles ion the past as they tried in vain to negotiate the lane.
I was all ready for the grand opening, but the council has fucked up once more.
They have just been to remove all the potholes, presumably because they are needed elsewhere.
We now have a relatively smooth lane. Bastards.
It will be days before the potholes grow again, and I can get back to business.