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A man or a mouse

Head Rambles Posted on by

There are times when I wonder if the whole world has gone mad.

I was browsing the headlines today.  It was the usual shite about the Gubmint about to rape us with their fucking budget, and the threat of major flooding throughout the country.  In other words, SNAFU.

Then a wee item caught my attention.

Apparently if you are a needy person, the Gubmint is going to sort you out.  They are going to issue cheese.  Yes.  You read that right.  The fucking Gubmint is arranging to give fucking cheese to needy families!!!

Are you freezing in your home because you can’t afford fuel?  Never mind.  Have some cheese.

Are you sitting in total darkness because your electricity has been cut off?  There there.  Have some cheese.

Are you suicidal because you can see no hope for the future?  You’ll feel a lot better after nibbling on a chunk of Cheddar.

Now, I like my cheese.  Just so long as it is red Cheddar, and not too strong, I’m happy.  Not everyone has the same taste however, and many prefer a different variety.  Herself for example likes goat’s cheese, which is why I’m thinking of buying a goat to live in the shed with her.  She wouldn’t thank you for a lump of Cheddar.  But the Gubmint aren’t accounting for tastes in this exercise – you take your Cheddar or you die.

Now if they handed out vouchers for electricity, or bags of fuel then I would say fair play.  Everyone can use a drop of electricity or a nice smoky bag of coal.  But cheese?

I suppose some will say that a lump of red is better than a kick in the arse, but it’s a close call if you ask me. 

I have a feeling that come next Spring, there are going to be a hell of a lot of happy mice around the country?

 

Comments

A man or a mouse — 22 Comments

  4. Like Brianf said, the “cross-the-pond-county” has been giving away free cheese for years to po’ folks.   It tastes like shit.   I know because I bought some from a guy selling it from his trunk…or should I say “boot”?      I think the dairy lobby got the gov to push it..the cheese, that is.

    And Grandad…..you have confirmed my opnion of you being a real prince…buying a goat as a shedmate for Herself.   Indeed!   And I have barred Her Highness from reading your blogs forever.  She will get some uppity ideas.

  6. Sixty – Yoyu had better advise them to postpone their Irish tour.  I don’t think they would be too welcome here at the moment.

    Willie -  I am pleased to hear you are treating your Herself well.  Letting ’em near computers is a huge mistake.  I learned the hard way.  Just be firm – she will complain, but she’ll love it.

    Haddock – And so starteth the cheesy comments?

  8. Nah .. Grandad .. it was a quote from “The life of Brian” ..

    Anyway .. all this talk of Cheese got me started .. so I grabbed my bread, toasted it, added a couple of slices of Ham (well, six actually)topped it with Canadian Mature Cheddar (you know, the stuff which bites back) .. and finished it off under the grill with a generous dash of Lea & Perrin’s ..

    Luvverly jubbly … 😉

  9. g’dad…..Her Highness has discovered the internet….  Too late.  I told Her Highness that Head Rambles was just a bunch of old farts that would offend her.  Hopefully, that was the truth.

  10. I was on social welfare more than a decade ago and received, twice a year, vouchers which enabled me to buy butter at a discount. Now if only they’d also supplied discount vouchers for packets of crackers and bottles of Beaujolais I’d have had the neighbours in for something more exciting than a coffee morning.

  11. What is it with Ireland that food and drink has to red?  Cheddar isn’t red its yellow, even the Canadian variety is yellow FFS.   Same with lemonade.  Lemonade shouldn’t be red ‘cos lemons aren’t red are they?   What do they put in lemonade to make it red?  Only asking like!

  12. If it’s not from Cheddar Gorge it ain’t Cheddar. Although “Cabot’s Seriously Sharp Cheddar” is pretty good. But I’m with you Sean, red cheese cheeses me off. Unless it’s Red Leicester.

  13. @tt I’m worried that we may have pissed Grandad off a bit ‘cos he hasn’t responded. I hope not, as I love his blog and would hate to get on the wrong side of him.  I love Ireland as well and if it wasn’t for the damp climate, their Gubmit (which are both as bad if not worse than ours in the UK) and their red lemonade  I would be have retired there long ago.

  14. Why the fuck would you have pissed me off?  Do you think I take any notice of you lot?  Think on..

    You just seemed to be so happy chatting amongst yourselves, and I didn’t want to interrupt.

  15. I thought it might have come across as a bit anti-Irish or anti-Ireland which was not my intent.  I’m just anti red lemonade!  Thanks for the reassurance anyway Grandad dear.  Good luck with the book and hope you still have time to update the blog occassionally.

  16. haha, it’s not like they had to buy the cheese, it is sitting there in a huge mountain, if it isn’t given away it be have to be destroyed, you should be going “for once they used there hands and gave the food away and didn’t freaking have a huge bomb fire and fuck up the ozone layer”

  17. Sean take no notice of the old cunt. He puts up with me (so far) so his tolerance level has to be sky high. Although he makes out otherwise.

  18. D’you know – I think that’s the first time I have been called a cunt on this site?  Thank you TT for popping my cherry.

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