How to cough
I am nearly speechless.
The illustrious people who look after our health were in the news again yesterday. Once more, they have managed to kill a poor girl with their incompetence. There is rarely a week that goes by without someone being killed or maimed by our “health service”.
I saw yesterday though that it last they are doing something constructive.
They are providing a week long course on how to cough.
Do you know how to cough?
I would have thought it was a fairly basic action that most of us have got the hang of from a fairly early age?
I can cough if I want to. If I have a cold, I can cough if I don’t want to. I’m sure you are in the same situation? Even our dog can cough, and does so on occasion.
Apparently our health service think that training is required.
I suppose it would make sense if this course was for the benefit of new-born babies, where they could start life off on the right footing and be experts in coughing from the outset. That would make a strange sort of sense.
But no. This course is for the benefit of doctors, nurses, dentists and medical attendants. What in the name of sweet holy fuck is this about? Instead of teaching them how to correctly diagnose a severe headache, they are teaching them how to fucking cough? Instead of teaching them that it is better to remove a damaged kidney and leave the good one, rather than remove the good one and leave the poor victim with a damaged kidney, they are giving a course on how to wash their hands?
I find this unbelievably surreal.
This is weirdness to the power of infinity.
There are times when I am at a loss for fucking words.
Fuck!
There are a couple of things which trouble me about this article in the Irish Times Grandad ..
The first being the name of the Doctor in charge … Dr Fidelma Fitzpatrick .. If one is anti-communist, then I wonder whether one takes one’s chances being treated by her ? ..
As one does if one allows her to give you Antibiotics .. I’d always thought that “proscribe” meant to declare illegal .. to ban by Law ..
I wouldn’t have any problem attending a course on “How to cough” .. provided that the obligatory testicle cradling was carried out by a good looking Nurse, wearing stockings & suspenders .. 😉
In fairness i was in hospital for a week only got out a few days ago and the nurses / doctors where great very helpful didn’t even kill me or take anything essential by mistake….yet anyway
Haddock – No worries about Fidelma. Sure isn’t it a grand old Irish name! Ask any of the Castros of Sligo. I think what they are trying to do is to proscribe the MRSA virus and turn it into an illegal organisation. That way they can arrest it on sight? Mind you, proscribing the IRA didn’t work very well. * wanders off to dream of young nurses fondling my jewels *
D – With a bit of luck you may even have received a bonus? Next time you go through airport security all those scalpels and scissors they left inside you will play havoc with the metal detectors. Hope it was nothing too serious anyway? [Can’t have been or you wouldn’t be wasting your time here!]