Going to the flicks
What the hell is going on in the world of films?
I like to watch the odd film, and Herself is addicted to them. In fact I have one of those satellite thingies which means I have hundreds of channels and some of those channels are devoted to films. The satellite costs an arm and a leg, but it calms Herself down of an evening, and is cheaper than tranquilisers.
The problem is though that there are never any films on worth watching.
The films that are being produced these days are the greatest load of unadulterated shite. The film makers seem to be catering almost exclusively for the young teen market and for those with an IQ level in the low twenties [same thing really].
There seems to be three genres of films â The âromantic comedyâ [or RomCom as they nauseatingly refer to it], kids films and films that rely almost exclusively on blood, gore and pyrotechnics for the plotline.
The âRomComâ [fuckit but I detest that word] invariably stars Jennifer Aniston and is about as funny as sticking rusty nails into my eyeballs. The word RomCom in the information about the film is quite sufficient for me to ignore it completely.
The kidsâ films seem to be in the majority these days. They range from those horrific cartoon-like films such as âAvatarâ or âToy Storyâ through to crap like âThe Pirates of the Caribbeanâ. The worst thing about this class of film is that they seem incapable of doing anything other than rehashing the first film into a series of fucking sequels, each worst than the last.
The last class of film seems to be aimed at your average twelve year old who just loves a bit of violence. I accidentally saw the beginning of one the other night and quite honestly I was nauseated. Within ten minutes of the film starting, I was greeted with such sites as people being impaled on steel spikes [in slow motion] and a girl being dismembered and squashed by a flying object in great graphic detail. It was gratuitous violence for no other reason than to attract the brain-dead.
The only people who seem to be able to make films these days are the British and the Australians. Unfortunately, they donât make that many, but the ones they do produce are generally worth watching.
And a note to my American friends –
Will you please stop calling films âMoviesâ? It makes you sound like you are still impressed with the idea of pictures that actually move.
The young wans talk about going to the ‘cinema’ nowadays in Dublin. I had forgotten about going to the’ flicks’ until you said it in twitter just now HeadRambles! It conjures up images of balding seats, chewing gum ingrained floors and something to relieve the boredom of life, stuck in the time-warp that was ‘teenagerdom’ in the 70’s! 🙂
You are spot on. Hollywood movies suck ass. Dumb and dumber and dumberer. Kiss kiss bang bang. Movies for the hard of thinking. Trouble with Brit flicks and TV is that everything has the same six actors in it. That and “my pet hate” smartass directors and camera men who think it’s artistic to fill the frame with  a 1/4 of someone’s face.
I can recommend  “An Inconvenient Truth”  to you. You  should watch it eight times at least.
They’re MOVIES or Flicks!
Do you really think they’re made on film any more?
Get use to it. At least we no longer call them Talkies.
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Ahh .. a whiff of nostalgia .. the “flicks” on a Saturday morning at the local “flea-pit” (paid for by the empty pop bottles which you’d “liberated” from the yard behind the Off-Licence & then returned for the deposit) … 😉
Bring back the Ealing comedies, I say .. same six actors/actresses or not .. they were bloody well-made & very funny ..
Rosemary – I am delighted to hear that about the Cinema! There was nothing quite like the experience of a cinema on a Saturday afternoon in the 60s. One of the best bits was roaring at the screen, shouting encouragement or abuse at the characters!!
TT – There was hope there that for a moment you were going to post a dull “I agree with you” comment, but then you stuck in that last line. Thanks for the laugh!! 🙂
The CIA – Would you lot ever fuck off and stop spying on me? I’m sick of those stupid wire taps that I have to keep removing. I suppose you do have a point about calling them Talkies though?
Haddock – Ah! The old Ealing Comedies. Nothing can match them. Who can forget “The Ladykillers” or “Kind Hearts and Coronets”? Brilliant stuff, that has rarely been matched.
How’s about “The Lavender Hill Mob” or the St Trinian’s films then Grandad ? .. classics … 🙂 🙂 🙂
My favorites - Whisky Galore! (Great book you probably know, Compton MacKenzie) and The Titfield Thunderbolt.
And  “Saturday afternoon in the 50’s” don’t you mean ?
Ah don’t be too hard on Jennifer, her films may be crap but at least she has a nice ass. Â
TT – Funny, but I was going to mention Whisky Galore [and Rockets Galore]. Loved the films and the books. The Titfield Thunderbolf was another classic!.  OK, 50s then.
Vespasian – please don’t use the words “hard on” in a sentence about Anniston. It’s an oxymoron.
Well “Rockets” wasn’t Ealing of course.
I’ve had this argument with my son and he trumped me when he said the films aren’t made for ye old people anymore, they’re made for us, young lads with money.
Fuck.
I remember the first time I saw Debbie does Drimnagh – I knew then the days of the B+W 2 reeler was over.
Now its going 3-D. Where is it going to end?
(In your face Rambles, in your face).
The old dear used to call them the ‘Pictures’.Â
Aussies make great films but really bad telly.Â
TT – Possibly not, but it was still Compton McKenzie. A great read.
Snookertony – I regret to say that I think your son is right. If that’s what children these days go for, then God help the future!!
Holemaster – So did IÂ :)Â I had forgotten that.
I took one of the granddaughters to see Nanny McPhee Returns recently. I was enjoying a simple bit of fluff movie, not so much the $15 dollar bag of popcorn! She was buzy texting friends, and nannysitting me.  This getting Elder Boomer is hellish.Â
Nah, a bit too curmudgeonly, this post. There are plenty of decent films out there if you’re prepared to look beyond Sky Movies and the cinema chains. Most of that is shite, on that we agree.
‘Up In The Air’ was very pleasing, thought provoking yet accessible. Plenty more, too, that won’t come to me at time of writing.