I have to prove I’m not a teenager
There are times when I really seriously don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Now, I don’t like shops, and as far as I am aware, they don’t like me, so to avoid this mutual conflict, I do all my shopping on line. The one shop I detest above all others is the supermarket, with its wobbly trolley, screaming kids, blocked aisles, piped ‘music’ and its queues, so for as long as I can remember I have done the weekly grocery shop on line as well. I put in an order last night, and the delivery van has just come and gone.
The delivery chap was very helpful and efficient. He brought all the stuff into the kitchen table, as always, but unlike all previous deliveries, he then stood looking very ill at ease. I actually thought he was going to cry.
“I am very very sorry,” says he, “but I have to ask you something.”
“Ask away,” I said as I started putting stuff in cupboards.
“I have to ask you for identification if there is drink or tobacco in the order.”
That is where I didn’t know whether to laugh or join him in his distress and misery.
“Are you worried I might be under eighteen?” I asked.
He coughed and shifted onto the other foot. “Twenty one, actually” I don’t think I have ever seen anyone look so uncomfortable before.
Now, I suppose if you met me in a pitch black room, you could be excused for mistaking my age, but in broad daylight, I think the grey hair and beard, along with a few wrinkles here and there might give the game away. I showed him a photograph of myself. He was so relieved to be shown anything that he accepted proof that I was who I said I was.
He then went on to apologise some more, and to explain that he was just obeying orders [where have I heard that before?] and that he would have to ask me for identification every single time I get a delivery in future. He said that he is not allowed to use his own discretion and always has to see identity. Apparently the fact that he knows me doesn’t count.
I presume this is because of that damned programme on RTE the other night where they bribed some kids to order drink on line from supermarket and off licences. In the programme, the orders were delivered without question. Now we all have to fucking suffer. I really am getting pissed of with all of this fucking nannying. I have to produce papers now if I want to order groceries. I have to undergo a fucking grilling from a pharmacist if I want to buy anything with codeine in it. What the fuck are they going to dream up next?
Am I going to have to weigh myself in front of the delivery man if I order anything with calories in it?
Am I going to have to produce a driving licence, tax and insurance certificates and proof of ownership before I can buy petrol?
This is the first time the Nanny State has actually entered my property.
I doubt it will be the last.
Haha! I know the feeling. I thought I was going to be arrested when I asked for a packet of paracetamol AND a packet of Nurofen Plus the other day. Love your rambles.
From Equally Outraged @ http://www.offbeatwoman.com
It sounds like bad comedy. Talk about needless overreaction! I have to wonder if the supermarkets will let it slide as the fuss dies down though.
Come on, HR, tell the truth and shame the Devil.
Which supermarket was it?
My money’s on Tesco Ireland.
Welcome to the strange world of ‘blogging’, Rosemary. 🙂 My local chemist knows me well so things aren’t too bad on that front, though anywhere outside the village, I think it would be easier to buy strychnine.
Marcus – I’m hoping it’s a one day wonder all right. If they think I am going to faff around with identification in my own home, they can think again.
Welcome Spartacus. [Jayzus but it’s getting like a Latin class in here] Only two supermarkets do Interweb deliveries here – Tesco and Superquinn. It wasn’t Tesco! Heh!
These days, it’s sometimes easier to obtain illegal drugs such as cocaine or cannabis than the legal ones. It’s getting absolutely ridiculous.
As for these ID checks for someone wanting to buy something such as alcohol online, I don’t believe that’s necessary at all. Your credit card company or your bank (if using your debit card) will already have done identification checks in the past for you to get your bank account or credit card. That should be sufficient enough evidence that you’re old enough to purchase the said product.
But as ever, the simple solution is never implemented.
Unbelievable. I heard about a man being refused a couple of bottles of wine in one of the larger supermarkets recently because he had his six year old daughter with him. What, are we supposed to leave the kids home alone now so we can buy the wine for the Sunday dinner without anyone suspecting that we’re unfit parents? I don’t even have kids and that one drove me bonkers.
Grandpa, may I put a RSS link to your blog on Righttovape.com and a couple of other web sites. One is vapeforlife.com, give you the names so you can check them out, the last one has just started but it is about lifestyle, when we get it going good and you blog is really so much about everyday living that it would fit in really good. Your getting a lot of fans on this side of the pond.
Reaper – I think their argument is that I may have robbed my father’s credit card to place the order. [Reminds me of the sign in the pub – free drinks for all over 80s. Must be accompanied by parents]
JA – Are you seriously saying a bloke was refused a bottle of wine because his daughter was with him? Did they think her was buying it for her? I know what I would have done in his shoes, even if it were a traumatic sight for the child! 😈
BK – Feel free! I’m flattered. I think some people are getting a little bit pissed off at my smoking topics though?
Your fans in the US are not getting pissed, we love your smoking comments as well as all the others. People seem to just have to find something to get pissed off about or at anyway, So it may as well be me and thee, gives some of the other a break.
No we don’t.
TT – Good on ya! You never fail to disagree. What would I do without you? 😉
If he’s old enough to drive a van and have a job, then he’s old enough to lie and say he saw an ID and not be bothering old codgers. The “not allowed to use his own discretion” line is bollox too, its not fucking Orwells 1984 yet, man the fuck up.
Don’t mind stu Head Rambles…you’re not an old codger! I mean just coz we’re over 18 doesn’t mean we’re codgy-ish
i honestly dont know whether to laugh or cry myself. the same thing happned to me when to get a bottle of jack 2 weeks back. the same thing happened the other night when i went to a can of red bull. i went into a 24 hour garage the other night to get myself a can. so when i placed the order in. this little uppity idiot of a girl kept saying red bull was bad for me. I just looked at her and said you know all the make up on your face is bad for your skin do you actaully need to use a pain scraper to take the muck off. she just stood there in silence. i think we both know how to handle dead brain idiots. in fact when it came to learning what i know now about i life i learned from the ebst and i learned it from you.
You’ve got it all wrong. He was taking the piss. His true motivation was to have a laugh at your ID photo, because word has been going round that it’s… well… there’s no other one like it. Apparently.