Time and tide wait for no man
Many many years ago I bought myself a digital watch.
It was a cheap one, but I bought it because it still had hands on it, but it told the date and month in a little window.
The reason I liked this was because I always had difficulty remembering the precise day of the month, and that is important when writing cheques or remembering court appearances.
Even though it was a cheap watch, it kept remarkable time, and was accurate to a few seconds a month. Now, everyone knows that time is exceptionally important when programming ICBMs so this was a big plus in favour of the watch. Eventually, it broke down, and I replaced it with an identical model, which turned out to be just as reliable. In fact, I’m on my third one now and it is as accurate as the previous two.
Initially, I used to use it to get the day of the month. However, as the sands of time trickled down, I found myself using the month of the year feature more and more. I now regularly check my watch to see what day of the week it is, and occasionally check the month too.
Yesterday, I had to write a cheque. Do you think I could remember what year it was? Not a fucking chance, and the watch doesn’t stretch that far. I had to do some fairly careful mathematics. I know what age I am and had to work back from there. I eventually calculated the year and wrote the cheque.
Is anyone planning anything fancy for the turn of the millennium next December?
A party in your care home maybe?
Ha! forget about the date, just worry about that extra zero!
I am sure the coming Monday must be a special day in your calendar. Pop over the border and have yourself a holiday.
Filthy – Care home? How very dare you. I’m nipping over to Switzerland before I get to that stage.
Mick – What extra zero? Am I ten times older than I think I am?
TT – I might nip up and beta a few Lambeg Drummers all right. It depends on the weather.
Does it tell you closing time in various towns?
“Tempes fugit”, said the monkey as he threw the clock out the window.
From the militant wing of the Cap’ns family that one… still have no idea what it means. I know what the Latin bit means but its the Irish in it that has me worried.
It seems as if my “time machine” is stuck in the mid 20th Century where Father Knows Best (not the Catholic priests) and Leave It To Beaver (all three of them: the animal, the kid in the show and the smile above the trout) are all a good thing. If at all possible I would love to join you for a pint of the black at the turn of the millennium party that we could have in December!
Ian – Do towns close? Yes, I suppose they do.
Cap’n – Don’t worry about the Irish bit. It means feiceál.
John – You are more than welcome to join me for a pint. It should be quite a party?