Lawnmower Man — 8 Comments

  1. Guinea Pigs!!!!
    Jeez, my lawnmower, at least, uses gasoline and oil.  Mine also belches great ripping holes in the ozone.  I bet your rodents don’t do that.
    Well I’m off to burn a ton of coal in the backyard.

  2. Mine also belches great ripping holes in the ozone.  I bet your rodents don’t do that.”

    You obviously haven’t witnessed our rodents’ farts.  The ozone layer hasn’t a fucking prayer!

  3. “Throw in any old guinea pigs you happen to have lying around” – love it!
    Tortoises-powered mowers work just as well, though they are somewhat slower.

  4. This is all very well, but you’re not doing your bit to keep the planet warm. I mow as often as possible all through summer, even when the grass doesn’t need cutting, because I’m told if I burn enough petrol the planet will warm up nicely. It’s never enough though, and winter always sets in eventually. Now I know why – it’s irresponsible people like you. You could at least have the decency to offset your gerbils by driving somewhere unnecessarily.

  5. Welcome Val!   I would have reservations about tortoise mowers.  Surely they don’t work too well should you wish to give your lawn a quick mid-winter trim?

    Ciaran – When it comes to the environment, you should know by now how conscientious I am.  I am a firm believer in doing my bit, and for each square meter of lawn cut, I burn an old car tyre to provide my carbon offset.  Combined with the guinea pig farts, my conscience is more than clear.

  6. By the look on Sandy’s face, Fizz or Minnie has just let another one off!
    Still, at least all that grass will keep Minnie’s mind off sex!! (Unless of course she comes face to face with a mole…..).

  7. Considering that my lawn tractor was due to picked last Tuesday (needs new blades, sharpened,balanced, installed and me with no workshop–yet) which still hasn’t happened I may have to resort to your mow by guinea pig method. Not too sure what to do with them at night though. Got four cats on the inside and wild type animals on the outside, all who would love a nice fat guinea pig snack I’m sure.

Hosted by Curratech Blog Hosting