Transport Minister Noel Dempsey has announced a series of new regulations which are to come into effect in the very near future.
Following on the report from the Road Safety Authority that one third of all road deaths are work related, he announced from his holiday on Bondi Beach that new measures were required to cut the carnage on our roads. “If one life can be saved, it will be worth it” he said.
The new legislation will ban any driver from using his or her car with the express intention of doing work. It is not yet clear if this legislation will include drivers who use their vehicles to drive to or from work, but it is expected to.
When contacted in his holiday villa in Malta, the minister stated that there would be exceptions to the new laws. “As people will be forbidden from driving to or from work, we have to provide additional public transport. Bus and taxi drivers will of course be considered as special cases.”
When asked about the inconsistency of this exception the minister, who was in Thailand at the time, replied that there would be no exceptions to the use of vehicles. “Bus and taxi drivers may continue to carry out their duties, but will, under the new laws be obliged to use bicycles”.
Noel Brett, Chief Executive of the Road Safety Authority welcomed the introduction of the new legislation. “Work related driving accidents cost millions of lives every day in this country” he said. “It is a well known fact, widely accepted by the scientific community that a van driver will kill at least a hundred people in the course of a week.” When challenged on the veracity of his figures, he retorted “what are you? Some kind of killer loving, child hating maniac?”
After intensive lobbying, Postal Workers have negotiated an exemption for themselves and will be allowed to continue delivering the post. They will however be restricted to a speed limit of 2 kilometres per hour on all roads.
Gay Byrne is said to be delirah and excirah at the new legislation