Where the fuck is everyone?
I used to get a right clatter of visitors from Ireland, which I suppose would be logical. Second on the list was the Americans, who for some weird reason seem to find some masochistic pleasure in reading my musings. Then came the UK who never really copped on to this lark, and then finally the rest of the world would dribble in.
For the last few weeks things have changed and I am really fucking worried.
Take today for example. So far, of all my visitors there are five times as many American visitors as there are Irish. That is not right. It is mid morning, so everyone has been at their desks for a couple of hours. That gives [say] half an hour to do your day’s work, and you should be well into your browsing, viewing porn, playing with Twitter and updating your Facebook by now. Where the fuck are you?
This is an ongoing trend. Each day I see that America tops the rankings. Why? Have they all decided to learn proper grammar and spelling over there? Am I now part of the school syllabus? It is very worrying as I may find myself starting to talk with an American accent, which as we all know is the first step on the road to hell. Next thing I would find myself insisting on lunch in McDonalds, having to watch TV3 all the time and I would start using words like ‘awesome’ and ‘totally’. You wouldn’t wish that on me, would you?
I suppose one possible explanation is that the naysayers are right – the Irish “blogging” scene is dead. Most of the decent crowd have dumbed down their intelligence level and moved to Twitter instead? I don’t know.
There again, I noticed that the list of nominations for the Irish Blog Awards is huge. I have never heard of the majority of the sites listed, which would lead one to suspect that there are a lot of people out there giving their sites several names in the hopes of grabbing some limelight? It’s a scurrilous idea, and I’m just glad that I thought of it before the nominations opened. I have actually been nominated 327 times under various names and guises, but don’t tell Mulley.
So I’m appealing to all you Irish out there – please don’t let me become Americanised.
And if I don’t appeal to you, maybe if I wear my gingham dress I would be more appealing?
I suppose it’s worth a try?