↓
 

Should I wear a gingham dress?

Head Rambles Posted on by

Where the fuck is everyone?

I used to get a right clatter of visitors from Ireland, which I suppose would be logical.  Second on the list was the Americans, who for some weird reason seem to find some masochistic pleasure in reading my musings.  Then came the UK who never really copped on to this lark, and then finally the rest of the world would dribble in.

For the last few weeks things have changed and I am really fucking worried.

Take today for example.  So far, of all my visitors there are five times as many American visitors as there are Irish.  That is not right.  It is mid morning, so everyone has been at their desks for a couple of hours.  That gives [say] half an hour to do your day’s work, and you should be well into your browsing, viewing porn, playing with Twitter and updating your Facebook by now.  Where the fuck are you?

This is an ongoing trend.  Each day I see that America tops the rankings.  Why?  Have they all decided to learn proper grammar and spelling over there?  Am I now part of the school syllabus?  It is very worrying as I may find myself starting to talk with an American accent, which as we all know is the first step on the road to hell.  Next thing I would find myself insisting on lunch in McDonalds, having to watch TV3 all the time and I would start using words like ‘awesome’ and ‘totally’.   You wouldn’t wish that on me, would you?

I suppose one possible explanation is that the naysayers are right – the Irish “blogging” scene is dead.  Most of the decent crowd have dumbed down their intelligence level and moved to Twitter instead?  I don’t know.

There again, I noticed that the list of nominations for the Irish Blog Awards is huge.  I have never heard of the majority of the sites listed, which would lead one to suspect that there are a lot of people out there giving their sites several names in the hopes of grabbing some limelight?  It’s a scurrilous idea, and I’m just glad that I thought of it before the nominations opened.  I have actually been nominated 327 times under various names and guises, but don’t tell Mulley.

So I’m appealing to all you Irish out there – please don’t let me become Americanised.

And if I don’t appeal to you, maybe if I wear my gingham dress I would be more appealing?

I suppose it’s worth a try?

 

Comments

Should I wear a gingham dress? — 25 Comments

  1. We Americans find reassurance that there are other country’s that are as screwed up as we are. I think the popular phrase is “misery loves company”.

  3. Grandad, am I your only Swiss reader? Just wondering if there are any more lunatics over here in the Alps!?

  5. Jim C – I never thought I would say this, but I think we are considerably more screwed up than America.

    Johnie – I presume you are referring to a yoke I scribbled earlier in the week?  I clicked the wrong fucking button and published when I meant to save it as a draft.  I’m still pondering on whether to publish or not?

    Susan – My problem is that I don’t have a wooly hat that matches the dress.  I have to knit one first.

  6. Swissjob – You are the only one today!!  Switzerland is currently in 23rd place representing 0.17% of all visits.  😉

  7. Dood! I’m like totally down with susieQ’s scribblins.
    It could also be that there are only 6 million folks on your little island and there are 12 million in my state alone. The last time they did a roll call here I think the grand total was around 300 million.
    Maybe we should ALL come visit this summer. 300 million tourists!!! All at the same time!
    .-= Brianf´s last brainfart .. A Cats Tale =-.

  8. 6 million?  We never had more than four, and then the gubmint fucked things up and everyone is leaving now, so I’d say it’s nearer three.  Yiz are all welcome – hunting is crap, so far this year. Who’s susieQ?

  10. I try not to wonder about why Americans do and don’t do things. better for the mind. Lovely people, though.

  11. “Most of the decent crowd have dumbed down their intelligence level and moved to Twenty instead? I don’t know.”

  13. Mick – I’m not flying that flag on my estate, and that is final.

    Morris – I agree.  Some of them are very nice.  It’s the others I don’t like.

    TT – You are not seriously suggesting that people would dumb down that much?  As for your other suggestion – “the auld sod” couldn’t manage without me.

  14. Just a few comments in random order…

    Here’s another hit from America to your stats for the day. Always glad to contribute to change. My little effort to the promotion of chaos as it were.

    I’ve got a couple of old gingham dresses from my second marriage stuffed in a closet but being as tall as you are they might not be an option as they’d hike up a bit. And I hear the sight of your legs is questionable at best.

    And when I finally get to shake your hand in person and you start talking at me in an American accent (which one, btw?) I’ll polish up on that nasty accent they use on that TV3 news show you hate so much. I spent a lot of time in theater so I know how to do this.

    Did you ever consider that you inspired the rest of the Irish to start blogging and as such they now have no time to comment on other blogs? I know that your sense of modesty and overall humble nature would not allow you to consider yourself inspiring in anyway so you might not have considered this possibility.
    .-= Kirk M´s last brainfart .. Can you read this? (and other online complaints) =-.

  15. I read everyday Grandad, now me husband does and his aul wan. Do I count as Irish traffic even though I’m in blighty?

  17. Kirk M – You wear gingham dresses too?  I’m sorry it broke things up for you.  Don’t worry about the length – I’ll be wearing wellington boots.

    I know you have a load of accents over there.  The predominant one that mimicked here is probably a sort of Californian one, presumably because that where most television programmes seem to come from?

    So you think I have inspired the entire Irish nation to write their own sites?  Bloody hell!  And not one single bastard ever thanked me for the inspiration.

    Becky – You confuse me?  Surely you are your husband’s aul wan?  Unless of course you are referring to the Ma-in-Law which is terribly disrespectful.  As for whether you’re Irish?  The little flag beside your name might give a hint?

    Manuel – I’ll have you know I was the star at the Rose of Tralee a couple of years ago.  The only reason I didn’t win was because I was out the back shagging chatting to one of the other contestants when they did the judging.

    I’m afraid you too are stuck with the flag.  It’s a little reminder of Irish history for you.  Heh!

  18. Grandad I am fukin Irish, born, bread and battered. From Tallafornia I came til I left the auld sod 8 years ago. Dont let the Union Jack blind you to my allegiances.

  21. Sorry Gwandad. Taken me ages to get here then I’m hardly boosting the Irish contingency but at least I’m not American. I have been tardy. I apologise. Also, how does lastminute.com get nominated for best newcomer? it’s been around for five years in the UK and 10 in Australia!And when I last looked. It’s hardly a ‘blog’.

  22. Grandad,
    i saw you were beyond with the Kerry crowd and only for that I would’nt know about you and my life would be much poorer. Give out all you can, I’m listening and I echo your cause.

  23. Baino – Sure, don’t I know you have been busy and having Interweb connection problems and all?  Don’t worry about Lastminute – they are sponsors, not a nominee. 😉

    Welcome Eddie!  ‘Tis an honour to have you aboard.  I only hang around with that Kerry crowd in the hopes that they’ll buy me a pint, but I’m still waiting…….

  24. Son –

    I blame myself for the influx of American readers.

    Back when I adopted you there was…well, certain paperwork that had to be completed. And then there’s my job; I still look into things for one of the alphabet agencies. All said and done there are any number of people whose work includes dropping by your place to spend an inordinate amount of time parsing & deconstructing your scribbling.

    I do apologize.

    On the plus side many of these people, as you predicted, have indeed improved their grammar, so much so they’ve been called before the mast to answer for it; government forms demand government language.

    Also many of them are showing signs of developing a rudimentary sense of humor.
    I shouldn’t worry; my youngest is already 5 so I’ve but a dozen or so years left in harness. I’m sure they’ll not bother you after.

    Your loving Dad.
    .-= Doc´s last brainfart .. Sunday =-.

  25. Dad – Don’t feel bad about it.  If I can help you Americans in any way, such as by teaching you proper spelling, grammar or morals, then I feel I am doing my bit for humanity.  And I have a 5 year old sibling you never mentioned?  Do you not think that’s worth mentioning to your son?

Hosted by Curratech Blog Hosting
↑