I joined up with this Twitter lark a long time ago, just to see what all the fuss was about.
I still haven’t found out.
It is very difficult to even understand what Twitter is. They say it is micro-blogging which is just the kind of tacky tech-speak I have come to hate, but it is hardly that. What the fuck can you say when you only have 140 characters? That provides just about enough space to provide the kind of bland inane shite that I see on Twitter – “I am waiting for a bus. It’s late” or “Can’t wait to get home”.
Occasionally, it does come up with something interesting like “Government to be investigated by DPP” [sorry – that’s an example. Wishful thinking]. It can also be handy if I want to find out something quickly [“does anyone know the number of the fire brigade?”], but apart from that it is just…. well, strange.
It’s like walking into a gigantic hall. The hall is crowded with people, who are all making comments at each other. Now, the tricky thing is that you don’t know who is talking to who, and half them have disappeared anyway. So you may find yourself talking to someone who left six hours ago. Even more confusing is where you hear someone talking to you and you haven’t the faintest clue what the fuck they are on about. “@headrambles: I agree”. You agree? Good. Agree to what? Who the fuck are you anyway?
There are interesting people using Twitter. For example, @HolyGod hangs around there. I asked him recently what religion he is, because I thought it would be interesting. He never replied. In fact I haven’t seen him on since. Maybe my question made him think, and he decided he was atheist, and he therefore ceased to exist? I will never know.
@BigBen is quite interesting. He bongs the hours, but tends to get a bit monotonous.
I wander into the Twitter Hall every now and then. I listen to the bland snippets of conversation and internally wince. I usually then drop a large offensive fart and make a hasty exit, leaving everyone wondering what the fuck just happened. Yes. Twitter can be fun.
I don’t think I will ever abandon writing here in order to impart great wisdom to the Twitter world. It would be like an author abandoning his writing to scribble on toilet walls. [Not that I consider myself an author, but you get the drift?]
I have to go now.
I can feel a positive Hindenburg of a fart coming on.
Time to enter Twitterland.