I joined up with this Twitter lark a long time ago, just to see what all the fuss was about.
I still haven’t found out.
It is very difficult to even understand what Twitter is. They say it is micro-blogging which is just the kind of tacky tech-speak I have come to hate, but it is hardly that. What the fuck can you say when you only have 140 characters? That provides just about enough space to provide the kind of bland inane shite that I see on Twitter – “I am waiting for a bus. It’s late” or “Can’t wait to get home”.
Occasionally, it does come up with something interesting like “Government to be investigated by DPP” [sorry – that’s an example. Wishful thinking]. It can also be handy if I want to find out something quickly [“does anyone know the number of the fire brigade?”], but apart from that it is just…. well, strange.
It’s like walking into a gigantic hall. The hall is crowded with people, who are all making comments at each other. Now, the tricky thing is that you don’t know who is talking to who, and half them have disappeared anyway. So you may find yourself talking to someone who left six hours ago. Even more confusing is where you hear someone talking to you and you haven’t the faintest clue what the fuck they are on about. “@headrambles: I agree”. You agree? Good. Agree to what? Who the fuck are you anyway?
There are interesting people using Twitter. For example, @HolyGod hangs around there. I asked him recently what religion he is, because I thought it would be interesting. He never replied. In fact I haven’t seen him on since. Maybe my question made him think, and he decided he was atheist, and he therefore ceased to exist? I will never know.
@BigBen is quite interesting. He bongs the hours, but tends to get a bit monotonous.
I wander into the Twitter Hall every now and then. I listen to the bland snippets of conversation and internally wince. I usually then drop a large offensive fart and make a hasty exit, leaving everyone wondering what the fuck just happened. Yes. Twitter can be fun.
I don’t think I will ever abandon writing here in order to impart great wisdom to the Twitter world. It would be like an author abandoning his writing to scribble on toilet walls. [Not that I consider myself an author, but you get the drift?]
I have to go now.
I can feel a positive Hindenburg of a fart coming on.
Time to enter Twitterland.
Yay! Grandad, your rants make me happy. I feel like Twitter is a big exciting party that I’ve gatecrashed and I’m hovering around uncertainly, trying to figure out how to join in the conversations. I blogged about it nearly a year ago, and I still haven’t figured it out: http://coffee-helps.com/2009/03/16/gone-in-140-characters-or-less/
Why is it that the rest of the world understands it? Maybe you and I can go and start up a better party somewhere. One where we know what people are talking about. Maybe there are others who would be glad of it. Up until now, I thought it was just me…
.-= Hails´s last brainfart .. Sleeping on a train =-.
As usual, you put it better than I can. Maybe the rest of the world doesn’t understand it but they are pretending the Emperor has clothes on? They twitter away and just hope they are doing ‘the right thing’? Maybe a Twitter aficionado can tell us what the rules are?
I am hereby starting a new medium/party. I am going to call it Web Logging [and I hope some dumb-fuck doesn’t shorten that name]. It allows for lengthy erudite twitters, and what’s even better – the responses are nicely laid out for all to see and read.
Do you think it will catch on?
I eventually joined twitter a while ago, not entirely sure what was going on. In the end I’ve figured it’s like a long series of Facebook status updates, but without the hassle of having to “friend” anybody, you just follow them and that’s it. They’re short enough you can skim them quickly, and just as quickly un-follow people who decide that the colour of the towels in Dunnes is noteworthy.
Where I found it interesting is the hashtags, where you add something like #grandad to your message. You can search, and create RSS feeds, for these tags which means you can follow a topic of interest from complete strangers if enough of them start using it routinely. One I follow is #nama which has helped keep me up-to-date with the details of how we’re being robbed blind.
But yes, “@headrambles: I agree” is just a useless message out of context. There’s just no helping some people.
My problem is that I have a Facebook account but never use it. I don’t think I have updated my status in years. I noticed that about hashtags all right, and someone even used #grandad once. The damned things eat into the 140 limit though.
The main problem with Twitter is that if you wish to reply to someone, you can’t tell them what you are replying to. There isn’t room to include their comment, and you can’t link, so it’s up to them to follow the ‘in reply to…’ link which is a pain in the hole.
I’m a new recruit too… and I have no idea what I’m doing. I rather like the idea of micro writings (in addition to full-scale writings of course) but I’m at a bit of a loss as far as the whole social side of it goes. I like your analogy of the noisy hall; that’s exactly what it’s like in there.
.-= J Adamthwaite´s last brainfart .. Tweet! =-.
But what use are ‘micro writings’? A one sentence scribble that is tossed to the wind? Twitter is great for pissing people off though!! 😈
Haiku. (etc.) Not that pissing people off doesn’t sound fun too!
.-= J Adamthwaite´s last brainfart .. Tweet! =-.
Anonymity is the new wealth….
Make sure you fart helium.
I wish you’d posted this on Twitter instead. It would have read..
“I joined up with this Twitter lark a long time ago, just to see what all the fuss was about. I still haven’t found out. It is very difficult”
I would have gotten the point in one tenth of the time.
.-= rhodester´s last brainfart .. Douchenozzle =-.
JA – It’s OK. I could never understand Haiku either. 😐
Cap’n – Who said that?
TT – I have never tried farting helium, but I imagine the resulting high pitched squeak wouldn’t have quite the same effect?
RhodesTer – And the rest? Would you want to miss out on all that beautiful prose? Not to mention the wit?
Hi Grandad … ‘anonymity is the new wealth’ is mine … MINE, I TELLS YA, … all mine … you can use it though;) NO ONE ELSE. I’LL BE WATCHING.
Tom Dunne or some of his researchers read your blog I think… talking about twinning, and how its only for local politicians to go on junkets… Sounds familiar doesnt it?
.-= SAm Crea´s last brainfart .. Award ceremonies… =-.
I once wrote a report for a company I worked for on a public policy issue when they were making representation to the government in the UK. When I was reading through the relevant piece of legislation many months later I recognised my wording in a number of places in the relevant Act of Parliament.
I am THE LAW. Anybody wants custom-made legislation give me a call … and yes I do do Bar Mitzvahs. Closed Wednesday afternoons for alcohol. The value of your investment in me may go down as well as up.
At least you won’t explode like the Hindenburg.
Nope – I still haven’t used my twitter account since the first week after my son set it up – I found it very strange…. but even though I don’t use it – I still get email messages saying that someone I don’t know is now following me on Twitter.
Let them follow – I’m not going back there!!!
.-= Kate´s last brainfart .. January Projects =-.
Twitter is what you make of it. The content it sends your way depends on who you follow. If it’s a gigantic hall full of people, at least you get to pick the people in your hall, and you can evict anyone who bores or bothers you.
I find it handy for sending out lines, links and ideas that interest me, be they from books, news, science, arts, language or whatever. And it’s always likely to surprise you. Sometimes a throwaway remark will kick-start a very interesting conversation with someone who before that was a total stranger.
SAm – Everyone reads my intellectual outpourings. Even the BBC.
Cap’n – I think you may be codding yourself. You write reasonable intelligibly, whereas laws are completely unintelligible. Unless they translated your stuff?
TT – It depends on whether there are any naked flames around. I just make damned sure there aren’t any. Flashbacks are a pain in the hole.
Kate – I have some very strange followers too. I don’t mind as long as they don’t mind my ignoring them.
Stan – I must say the ones I like are the throwaway lines, the caustic comments and the odd good link. It’s nearly time for me to take a peek into Twitter Hall.