One aspect of modern society that has me utterly baffled is the cult of the ‘celebrity’.
What the fuck is that all about?
When I was a child, my ambition in life was to be a train driver [that was in the days of steam locomotives, and the driver was The Man]. Nowadays, ask any schoolchild what they want to be when they grow up and they’ll tell you they want to be a fucking ‘celebrity’.
I looked up ‘celebrity’ in the dictionary, and it basically defined it as ‘someone famous’. But that can’t be right? You wouldn’t exactly call Brian Cowen a ‘celebrity’ but he is famous [or infamous] enough? Then you have someone like Paris Hilton, who basically seems to be famous solely for being famous [and wearing no knickers] who is classed as a ‘celebrity’. Why?
The way it seems to work is that someone does something and becomes famous. Because they are famous then everyone, for some strange reason wants to read about them. So they are in the papers more, and they become even more famous. It a vicious circle. Why people want to know about famous people is beyond me, but celebrity gossip seems to be all important to the brain dead youth of today. And if I ever hear the expression ‘celeb goss’, be warned – I have an immediate reaction to hang the offender from the nearest lamppost by their intestines.
What brought on this little brain fart?
Tiger Woods is a bloke who apparently is famous for hitting a ball around a field with a stick. Big fucking deal. I use golf clubs to clear dog shite off my lawn, and I can guarantee I have hit more cars than Tiger Woods, but I shun the limelight, so I’m not a ‘celebrity’. Thank God.
Anyway, Mister Woods crashed his car into a tree. So? Was he pissed as a coot at the time? He says not. Was he on some chemically induced trip at the time? He says not. Was he robbing a bank at the time? Not unless his house is a bank.
So why all the fuss?
I hit trees all the time. Especially when I’m driving home from the pub. It’s no big deal [as they say Over There].
So why all the fuss over a golfer driving his car into a tree? It has been in the papers, and on the television news, for fuck’s sake. Even that bastion of respectability, the BBC has run the story on their news.
Will someone please explain to me why it is so vital that we know why a chap drives a car into a tree?