When is a tree not a tree?
What the fuck is it with these morons and their Christmas trees?
OK, so it is traditional for a city to put up a tree at this time of year, and I have no problem with that. But then they have to go all fancy and start sticking up monstrosities that bear fuck all resemblance to a tree apart from a vaguely conical shape.
Take for example the monstrosity that they erect in Dublin.
This carbuncle on the face of the city was manufactured in France at a cost of €100,000, and is supposed to be “eco friendly”. Eco friendly my bollox. They talk about it having “energy efficient lighting”. God give me strength! If they are so fucking worried about the consumption of electricity, then why is the whole fucking city floodlit every night of the year?
Then there is the “sustainable” “tree” that they have in Limerick.
This yoke that looks like it has fallen off a church is supposed to be a tree? Hah! It least it has the sense to wreck itself before it could despoil the skyline.
Now, listen to the voice of reason, you politically correct, inept eejits.
Ireland is covered in fucking forests. You have covered the mountains with millions of fucking trees so that instead of pleasant views, all we can see is endless lines of identical conifers. What’s more, the buggers grow at a frightening rate of knots, so that knocks your “sustainability” crap on the head. Cut one town today, and another one will have grown in its place by tomorrow.
All you have to do is take a half hour drive from any city in the country and your find yourselves surrounded by conifers. Cut one down and stick it up in your city, if you must.
They are quiet easy to recognise.
They look like this:
THANK YOU! Amen.
They just told the nation’s elderly and disabled children there’d be no Christmas bonus, then they put up this crap and plug it in. I’d *love* to know the bill for the Dail Christmas parties this year, come to think of it. Did they not see any opportunity for a meaningful, Christmas-spirit gesture here? For the country’s newly jobless, newly homeless, and newly Christmasless??
Oh, no, guess not—that might have required a human soul.
D’you know by far the best thing about living here this time of year is watching the giant trees being trucked past from the forests to the shopping centers or whathaveyou. Next time I see one of them lads I’m hopping on the back, lopping the top off the tree, then jumping off again at the first set of traffic lights. €35 per tree my arse.
See now this is why I live in Italy – where the government is even more fucked up and corrupt than Ireland but at least they have the basic human decency not to pretend otherwise. Ireland is being run by (overweight) zombies. Every time I think about it, it makes me want to embark on a murderous rampage! Jesus sorry lads, just had to get that one out. Rant over.
K8 – Be careful there. Most of those lorry drivers ignore traffic lights, so you could end up dragging your tree top for ten miles home. Anyway there are squillions of ’em growing just up the road from you. Nip up and grab a dozen for yourself.
If it makes you feel any better, I saw this very same tree being erected at La Defense in Paris at the weekend.
I totally agree; it’s awful.
We used to give my dad unending grief every year from about the last week in November about erecting the tree… he would refuse till about December 20th… the great man that he is….
They should have a ‘Hand of Thierry’ coming down the side and tapping the lighty balls. That would cheer up passersby.
The Limerick one looks as if it just needs a box of fire-lighters to complete the picture. Actually Limerick looks like it just needs a ….
Wasn’t it great to see the Limerick “tree” committing suicide.
What a monstrosity!!
We don’t have Christmas trees here but what a New Year party……
SAm – December 20th? Good grief! We didn’t get ours until the 24th.
Cap’n – Don’t mention him. You’ll only start off the Knuckle Draggers again.
Not Twitter – Hah! Limerick will love you for that one! 😉
Your Highness – Maybe it was stabbed?