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October

Head Rambles Posted on by

I hate October.

It is one month of the year that apart from the trees looking nice, it has no redeeming features at all.

It is the month when they all gang up on me.

The tax people want their gallon of blood in October.  I told them this year I didn’t owe them anything and to fuck off and not to bother me again.

The car tax people get me in October as well.  And the television licence.  They can fuck off this year as well.  If they can afford to pay the Plank that much, then they don’t need my few bob.

Then they screw with my head with that damned clock changing thing again. That really pisses me off.  This year I decided I wouldn’t play along with their little games, so I never bothered changing the clocks.  It’s too much hassle.  That has rightly confused Herself, and had the added bonus that she keeps missing her favourite television programmes, which are usually boring romantic films and crap like that.  At least I get some peace in the evenings.

Then there is Halloween.  The only saving grace there is that I don’t live in the city where for the entire month it sounds like the Normandy Landings.  Here we get the odd bang, but it still scares the shite out of the poor dog.

And the evenings are really getting dark.  Hate that.  I like my sunshine and daylight.

The only thing that is keeping me cheerful is the thought that October is nearly over, and it will soon be November.

I hate November even more.

 

Comments

October — 19 Comments

  3. 21?  God no!! Never again.  But still.. if there was a pill that could make me look 21 again, whilst retaining the acquired  ‘knowledge’ of my true calender years… Now that would be quite a birthday present!!

  5. October isn’t too bad on my side Grandad. I usually slaughter a christian as a sacrifice to the old gods at the end of the month.

    Cheers me up no end. 

  6. Cap’n Con,
    Slaughtering Christians is obviously an activity covered by equality legislation and you are required to review your policies to ensure inclusivity   Is there a balance in the sort of Christians you slaughter with regard to denomination, social class, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, etc and is there proper provision for non-Christians in your sacrifice programme?

  7. Ian – You must be joking?  Don’t you know how hard it is to even find a Christian these days?

  9. October rocks.
    The smell of real fires in the air.  Your breath fogging in front of you without it being freeze your bollocks cold.
    And don’t forget Halloween when you can put packets of dog shit into the sacks of trick or treating little mooches.

  10. TT – Not April 1st?

    Maxi – Are you at the arson again?  You know what the judge said about that.  Thanks for reminding me about the dog shit.  I’ll start collecting right away.

  12. Grandad,
    The fact there is a shortage of Christians to be slaughtered is immaterial to Capn’ Con’s need for a proper equality policy.  The entire equality industry is based upon hypothetical situations.

  13. Jim C  – Not true.  I found one last June.

    Ian – Can we just slaughter hypothetical Christians then?  [Hypothetically speaking]

  14. Of course, provided you have a proper policy and hypothetical pagans are not suffering discrimination

  16. They should abolish autumn altogether and fine tune spring a bit. Who needs rain and wind anyway? In my humble opinion there should only be 2 types of weather; scorching hot and freezing your *** off in 3 feet of snow. Perhaps with a little bit more global warming that can actually be achieved.

  17. October is not so bad, although the Halloween shit gets on my tits in a big way. Some people go as mad at this time of the year as they do at Christmas decorating their houses etc., it’s just another fuckin scam.

    Trick Or Treat my Hole.

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