Dear Retailers — 21 Comments

  1. Moving south ten years ago, we were astonished at the hype surrounding Christmas in this jurisdiction, perhaps Protestants are just mean and try to avoid spending money.
    I’ve even heard it described as the most important day in the Christian year.  Hello?  What Bible is that from?

  2. I hate Christmas, really really hate it. I hate not being able to buy a newspaper in November without hearing fucking Jingle Bells or some other shit playing in the background. I hate crowded shopping centres, being unable to find parking anywhere & most of all I hate advertisements. “The must have item” to make your day special & memorable, Fuck Off. What happened to last years must have piece of tacky shit?

    My wife tells me I am becoming a grumpy old man, we now have two young children so I have been told to cheer up for their sake, I will because I love my children but there is no fucking way I’m taking them to see Santa in Arnotts, no way.

    Arnotts is on Henry Street and the only time I will queue on Henry Street is to see it burn. Also if someone speaks to me in the queue what do I say, I know nothing about keeping horses or pidgeons in my urban garden.

  3. Well, some of them might welcome being burned down, as the insurance money would provide some welcome (albeit brief) liquidity. Sounds like win-win to me.

  4. Another thing I hate about Christmas is all the Charities that are out collecting on the streets and shopping centres.

    Help the sick, poor, old, deaf, blind, disabled, those with cancer etc.

    “Don’t forget the poor this Christmas”

    I don’t object to charities or to charitable giving, in fact I donate to a number of charities on a regular basis by standing order.

    The ones that piss me off are the ones selling fucking scratchcards, you know the ones, they are to be found outside shops & post offices in every town. How much of the money they collect actually goes to the charity is highly debatable & they really annoy me. I was asked to help people with cancer by one the other day, as I walked passed her without stopping she gave me the filthiest look you could ever imagine. I care about people with cancer, I just don’t intend giving you the money so that 75% or so will go on administration costs etc.

    Maybe I am becoming a Grumpy old man but fuck it I think I’m right.

  5. Lafsword – I have to agree.  I dread this time of year when we are all told to be Happy Happy Happy.  I dread the gastly muzak in the shops.  I dread the hype and the cheapness of it all.  And then I am told I am being miserable.  They can all fuck off as far as I’m concerned.

    Thrifty – I’ll make damned sure that it looks like arson.  That way – no insurance and a nice little prison setence.

    TT – Make that fifty.

  6. My friend’s little cousins were already begging to watch The Late Late Toy Show last month. I’m already begging for the madness to be over. 

  7. Lafsword – Jack Dee calls them ‘magic cards’.  You scratch them and the magically turn into a piece of rubbish.  Heh!  I have the same attitude to charities – they also seem to think it is the only time of year we open our wallets.

    Maybe I am becoming a Grumpy old man

    Welcome to the club!

  8. Liv – You should have kept a tape of The Plank kicking the doll.  That would cure them.  😈

  9. if I hear fucking Jonah Luey stopping his bleedin cavalry I will  put my size 8 and a half through the speakers.

  10. Lafsword, 75% on administration costs? You should look at the accounts of some of the overseas aid agencies, it can be over 100%.  They register here to get money out of the government.

  11. yeah i actually have noticed that certain prices on objects such as games consoles and mp3 players tend to sky rocket which totally sucks and i think that there is no need for this at all. I totally agree with you. its probably one of the most expensive holiday to come by and thank godness it only comes once a year.  grr i hate christmas if i have to listen to any christmas cds this year i will throw them out the window shop owners and fmaily and friends alike you have been warned. This is where shep my border collie might come in handy he tends to eat cds for some reason and bad dvds as well.

  12. Yes- one for the single lads there I’d say, Grandad:) “On Donner, On Blitzen …” (ahem).

  13. To a confirmed lapsed heathen c-*-^lic who is not into the whole Christmas thing it appears that MC’s picture resembles a green drag queen Santa.    jingle balls, jingle balls…

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