I enjoy children’s parties.
Especially when I don’t have to attend them, and can’t hear what’s going on.
As you may have gathered, there was a wee soirée here yesterday, complete with the usual accoutrements that seem to accompany modern parties.
Of course I made my appearances at the appropriate times – when the mothers were arriving, or when the cake was being cut. The rest of the time, I had a nice peaceful afternoon in the coal hole with Herself. I had the coal hole soundproofed some time ago, as her yelling was annoying me at the time, but that soundproofing works both ways.
It was a very successful party. The ambulance only had to call three times, and there are no outstanding court cases that I am aware of [yet].
The only sign of the party now is the clatter of balloons around the place. A few of them burst in the garden, of course, so the place looks like it has been decorated with multi-colour condoms.
One of them just exploded on the floor beside me.
I shat myself.
I’m getting old.