A party with a bang
I enjoy children’s parties.
Especially when I don’t have to attend them, and can’t hear what’s going on.
As you may have gathered, there was a wee soirée here yesterday, complete with the usual accoutrements that seem to accompany modern parties.
Of course I made my appearances at the appropriate times – when the mothers were arriving, or when the cake was being cut. The rest of the time, I had a nice peaceful afternoon in the coal hole with Herself. I had the coal hole soundproofed some time ago, as her yelling was annoying me at the time, but that soundproofing works both ways.
It was a very successful party. The ambulance only had to call three times, and there are no outstanding court cases that I am aware of [yet].
The only sign of the party now is the clatter of balloons around the place. A few of them burst in the garden, of course, so the place looks like it has been decorated with multi-colour condoms.
One of them just exploded on the floor beside me.
No warning.
No reason.
I shat myself.
I’m getting old.
*sigh*
Yeah, saw the Bouncy Castle pic on your blog yesterday and, your obsession with pellet guns apart, was wondering if you had informed the right ‘elf and safety’ chappies to oversee the party in case the little ones may hurt themselves having fun, at your expense, of course?
And you must have, surely, informed the local smoke police just in case any of you child abusing smoking parents lit up in their presence! Surely?
TheBigYin – No need for Elf and Safety. They were all kitted out with crash helmets, knee pads, elbow pads, body armour and the rest. Unfortunately none of them could move, so no one could injure themselves.
Good of you to supply the telephone number on the photograph. I rang them this morning. Seems they have fled the country.
TT – You don’t think I was going to pay him, do you? I told him I would advertise his thingy on an internationally famous site. He seemed happy. Heh!
Remind me to go order a bunch of balloons to be sent around to your place and all set to pop as soon as you go within 3 feet of them.