Roger is a pain in the arse — 13 Comments

  1. TT – Jayzus!  Short of flying [which I haven’t mastered the art of yet, despite several disasterous attempts involving a few feathers and a barn roof], it would be difficlt to get home that quickly.

    Irish Ferries, for reasons best known to themselves [and I doubt even they know] only sail from France on a Tuesday.  Therefore I have to fart around France like a homeless hobo for three days.

  2. I once drove an MGB from the Med to the Channel in, I think it was, 12 hours.  30 years ago. Take me a week now.

  3. It is possible to drive home via England in less than 36 hours from south-west France.  500 miles up to a channel port, night boat to Portsmouth and an afternoon boat from Fishguard/Pembroke.  We’ve done it for the past four summers. Nobody who wasn’t under time pressure would want to do it.

  4. My brother has a SatNav with an American accent that uses actual real swear words in traffic jams.:
    Brother’s SatNav (in a pile up on the motorway):
    ‘Not another f*****g traffic jam!
    Sends everyone in the car into uncontrollable giggles.

  5. Grandad – It those damn Electronic Surveillance and Interception systems at that secret base (that you shouldn’t have taken pictures of–nice knowing ya’) that did it. They spotted you coming and reprogrammed Roger’s little brain with conflicting orders and told him her should keep it a secret. If he starts calling you “Dave” I’d be pulling the plug if I were you.
    Ger Atric – There are times when you just gotta love that old Yankee ingenuity.

  6. Hey GD, hang about till next March and then jump on the Swansea Cork Ferry – it’ll be back up and running then and boy is it hot this way that time of year!
    Plus think of all the shyte you’ll miss, Lisbon, the budget, NAMA etc, we’ll have total economic recovery, FF will be everyone’s favourites again, and life will be right back to ‘normal’!
    no brainer, stay put!

  7. A French military installation? In France?
    Are you sure Roger didn’t take you farther off course then you thought, maybe into Switzerland or Germany?
    Or maybe it is not a military installation at all. Perhaps it is a communications center tracking the price of wine, or a transmitter site broadcasting French porn.

  8. It is now three days since Roger led Grandad and Herself into the great unknown – has the Ninth Legion met the Bermuda Triangle causing their disappearance without trace?

  9. Ian. He  was drunk and got on the wrong boat. Captured by Somali pirates somewhere off Swansea. Being held to ransom. All his family and friends had a whip round. Needless to say he is still not released. 

  10. Would Somali pirates want duty free wine and pipe tobacco?
    Seems more likely that American Spooks got him.

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