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Headlines — 14 Comments

  1. “Crea wins lotto, stuffs lousy PC with dodgy slow connection into the paper shredder and goes to live on sunny island”
    Is that too long?

  2. Thrifty – That will do very nicely.

    SAm – No.  Not too long.  Not very cheering for me though?  Not unless I change my name to Crea?

  3. Thrift, that’d be bad editing, as it’s not obvious exactly who was doing the raping; the greyhound or Bertie.
    …either would be good news, obviously.
    “Ní Bheoláin cites ‘prefers older men’ as reason for marriage breakup”
    “RTE seeks to correct years of massive underpayment in now-retired ex-employees”
    “Pipe-smoke plus Guinness equals elixir of life! See more inside”
    “Space aliens stole my millions. Bono reveals all”

  4. “Irish and English people placed in wrong Islands at birth. Referee to stand in Celtic Sea and make ‘swap sides’ motions.”

    “Mandelson changes name by deed poll to Voldemort.”

    “Former Taoiseach confesses to using the odd Dail stamp for letters home to Mammy. Throws self on mercy of court.”

    “Once on a lullaby discovered on far side of rainbow.”

    “God denies own existence. Zaps self with lightning bolt.”

    “Woman, 97, dies.”

    “Insomniac threatens to stay awake during death”

    Bit off track but I get bored of Ireland. And I’m from there.

  5. Such headlines! Yours and theirs; all good for my soul.

    STILL laughing at Voldemort…

  6. Maybe not the time to be serious, but on a serious note (err!) does anyone think democracy in this country has some strange new definition? Damned if i can work it out!

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