Soon to be gone
I have just realised that the holidays are nearly here.
It is less than five weeks to the great day when I can escape from this miserable fucked up land.
I first started scouting for somewhere to stay last October. You may think that is a little early to be looking for holidays, but it beats the hell out of staring at the rain pissing down on an autumn day.
I found a little place and wrote to the owner. He sounds like a nice bloke, and even offered me free broadband. Yes. All mod cons – running water, electricity and broadband. Shame about the lack of toilet and washing facilities, but fuckit it’s a holiday? If any of you are interested, I took a photograph of it just now.
Sorry it’s so fuzzy, but the camera was several thousand miles away.
Now that you know what it looks like, you can easily find where it is, and can drop in anytime. You are all welcome.
I have a few things to do in the next less-than-five weeks –
Put a deposit on the house. [He should be expecting this, what with the lack of toilets?]
Book the ferry.
Passport must need renewing by now?
Get the car overhauled.
Learn French.
I have a nagging feeling that I have forgotten something but I can’t think what it is.
Thank God I don’t believe in putting off things until the last moment.
What about Herself?
How did you manage to get a photo of my house ?
TheChrisD – Herself? I haven’t decided yet. It is supposed to be a holiday, after all?
TT – If that’s your house, you have less than five weeks to clear out of it.
I can tell it’s not my house. My house is much less fuzzy.
What’s all this advance planning stuff? 5 whole weeks in advance!! Granddad yer letting the side down, the Irish are supposed to be last minute people. Ethos example: why do something today when it can safely be be put off for a month of so? Of course, tricky business like learning french cant be done overnight. Apparently it requires practice.
.-= >> Charmed´s latest brainfart .. Summer Holidays =-.
What does Ri Ra mean?
Brianf – I was pissed when I took the photograph.
Charmed – I thought I just had to learn French? I didn’t know I had to practice it as well. Fuck!
TT – Commotion. Why?
Dont forget to pack Sandy and put Minnie in kennels 🙂 Do the french eat guinea pig?
It’s the name of the new Irish pub in Atl. Real IRA ?
Next year you can stay at the new campsite they will be opening on the lawn the Government are installing at HQ
Becky – I’m packing Minnie and putting Sandy in the kennels. It will be too hot for a long haired dog [I hope]. Minnie can act as a stand by food supply.
TT – You love wander in on your own, don’t you?
Bubbles – It worked! There will hopefully be too many bodies lying around by then.
It looks like a house in Van Buren, Maine (which by the way is a COLD,COLD place in the winter time.)
They all speak butchered French but understand enough English so you can get by ok.
Good luck and don’t forget to specify that you DO NOT WANT GRAVY ON YOUR FRENCH FRIES at all the restaurants.
No toilets and washing facilities?! Did you forget to ask where the ‘running water’ is coming from then?
Is the house situatied under a waterfall by any chance? Could that be water mist on the camara lens?
.-= >> Geri Atric´s latest brainfart .. THE WORLD IS OVERFULL =-.
Welcome BG! I found lots of Van Burens, but none in Maine? I’m not necessarily looking for French speakers, primarily because I don’t understand much. It’s one of the wee disadvantages of France – they all insist on speaking it. One thing I do like about the place is they know how to cook chips French fries frites. And they have never offered me gravy?
Geri – Don’t worry. The house is very close to a river, so all toiletries are catered for.
It is less than five weeks to the great day when I can escape from this miserable fucked up land.
But
You will be coming back won’t you Grandad? Send Sandy to me if not – I’ll look after her!
Kate – Time will tell. Unfortunately I have ties to this miserable hole. Crops have to be tended, pints have to be drunk and there was something else… oh yes! The grandchildren. Just in case though you had better send and email to Sandy with directions to your place. Her address is sandy at headrambles and you know the rest. [Yes. She does have her own email address.]
Jesus it is nice to wake up to the rantings and ravings of the Looney Tunes on the other side of our Earth…Erie go Broke, where the Blokes are pissed about the mouse on the pad and Grandad’s are stewing on the prospects of a fucked up French holiday…
Excuse me if I cant relate, as its 116 degrees here in Arizona on a Sunday morning where the Jews are all in Las Vegas, the blacks are in jail and the Mexicans cant get their cars started and I’m stuck reading senseless shite from another World.
It seems that your Blog is a never ending bitch on the state of your Nation and the woeful conditions of the roads. Yet, in some visceral way I enjoy your Blog and look forward to the day to day spewing that gives us thought as to our blessings of being here in America where being Irish is to be a marginalized minority among the Mormons who have controlled this country for a century now. Thank goodness somebody’s keeping the freeways moving.
Have you tried fantasy, Grandad ? Have you tried to envision Yourself and Herself on the Moon or Mars ? What the fuck, why not, its got to hold more promise then this fucked up planet.
Speaking of wasps, (not White Anglo Saxon Prods) we have a species here in Arizona called Tarantula Hawks who alight on the backs of the spiders and inject a paralyzing sting then proceed to chew away a bit of the tarantulas back and lay their eggs therein. The tarantula is alive yet paralyzed while the offspring’s of the wasp mature, (much like my second wife), feeding off the living flesh of the host and thus is their evolution assured. I had the pleasure of watching one of them one day up on my mine and it was fascinating to observe how the Hawk took its time to munch away on the tarantulas back. It was indeed a cautionary scene and we did absorb a lesson in survival of the fittest.
Sorry to intrude on your blog but as a great philosopher once said, “If you don’t want elephant shit on your rug, don’t make friends with elephant trainers”
Enjoy your Holidays,
RWG